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'EEKLYPUBLICATIO^/ OF THE BEST CURRBMt X STAMOAli’) m .aE 


NCW-YORK 


► JOHN-W - Lovell- company* 

^ ; 4 I 6 ^ ^ - L. * 


VESEY STREET 


Vol. 9, No. 480, Jan, 3, 188S. .annual Sjibsorip^ on. J’'(X> 


LEWIS CARRO^ ' • I 


r-'<; 


Author of “ THROUGH THE LOO 


GLASS,” &c., &c. 


WITH ILLUSTRATIONS 3V 

TENNIEL i 


Entered at the Post Office, N. Y., at lecond-oio^ i matter, 
Copyrittht, 1885, by Johk W, Lotzil:, Ca. 





LOVELL’S LIBRARY.-CATALOGUE 


X. H3^rioTi.... 

2. Outre^Mer ao 

3. The Happy Boy 10 

4. Arne 10 

5. F rankenstein 10 

6. TheLast of theMohicans.20 

7. Clytie 20 

A The Moonstone, Part 1 . 10 
9. The Moonstone, Part II. 10 

10. Oliver Twist 20 

'1. The Coming Race 10 

12. Leila 

13. The Three Spaniards. . .20 

14. The Tricks of the Greeks.20 

15. L’Abb^ Constantin 20 

16. Freckles 20 

17. The Dark Colleen 20 

lA They were Married ....10 

19. Seekers After God 20 

20. The Spanish Nu^ -. 

21. Green Mountain t wys .. 20 

22. Fleurette 20 

23. Second Thoughts 20 

24. The New Magdalen .... 20 

25. Divorce 20 

26. Life of Washington 20 

27. Social Etiquette 15 

28. Single Heart, Double 


Face 

29. Irene; or. The Lonely 


Manor 



30. Vice Versa — 



31. Ernest Maltravers... 


32. The Haunted 

House 

. .. 10 

33. John Halifax. 



34. 800 Leagues 

on 

the 

Amazon 




35. The Cryptogram 10 

36. Life of Marion 20 

37. Paul and Virginia 10 

3 A A Tale of Two Cities. .. .20 

39. The Hermits 20 

40. An Adventure in Thule, 

etc 10 

41. A Marriage in High Life2o 

42. Robin 20 

43. . Two on a Tower 20 

44. Rasselas 10 

45. Alice ; a sequel to Er- 

nest Maltravers 20 

46. Duke of Kandos 20 

47. Baron Munchausen 10 

48. A Princess of Thule.... 20 

49. The Secret Despatch.. . .20 

50. Early Days of Christian- 
ity, 2 Parts, each 20 

51. Vicar of Wakefield 10 

52. Progress and Poverty. . .20 

53. The Spy 20 

54. East Lynne 20 

55. A Strange Story 20 

56. Adam Bede, Part 1 15 

V Adam Bede, Part II.... 15 

57. The Golden Shaft.. . . . .20 

58. Portia., 20 

59. Last Days of Pompeii. . . 20 

60. The Two Duchesses. . . .20 

61. TomBrown’sSchoolDays.20 

62. Wooing O’t, 2 ts. each.is 


63. The Vendetta 20 

64, Hypatia, Part 1 15 


Hypatia, Part II • • • tt xg 


65. Sehpa .....15 

66. Margaret and her Brides- 
maids 20 

67. Horse Shoe Robinson, 

2 Parts, each 15 

68. Gulliver’s Travels 20 

69. Amos Barton .....10 

70. The Berber 20 

71. Silas Mamer 

72. Queen of the County . . .20 

73. Life of Cromwell 15 

74. Jane Eyre 20 

75. Child’sHist’ry of Engl'd. 20 

76. Molly Bawn 20 

77. Pillone 15 

78. Phyllis 20 

79. Romola, Part 1 15 

Romola^ Part II ig 

80. Science in ShoitChapters.20 

81. Zanom 20 

82. A Daughter of Heth.... 20 

83. Right and Wrong Uses of 

the Bible 20 

84. Night and Morning, Pt.I.15 
NightandMorning,Pt.II 15 

85. Shandon Bells 

86. Monica 10 

87. Heart and Science 20 

8 A The Golden Calf. 20 

89. The Dean’s Daughter... 20 

90. Mrs. Geoffrey 

91. Pickwck Papers, Part 1 . 20 
Pickwick Papers,Part 1 1 . 20 

92. Airy, Fairy Lilian 20 

93. Macleod of Dare 

94. Tempest Tossed, Part 1 . 20 
Tempest Tossed^ P’t 11 . ao 

95. Letters from High Lat- 

itudes 20 

96. Gideon Fleyce. 20 

97. India and C^lon 

9 A The Gypsy Queen 20 

99. The Admiral’s Ward.... 20 

100. Nimport, 2 Parts, each., 15 

101. Harry Holbrooke. ao 

102. Tritons, 2 Parts, each .. 15 

103. Let Nothing You Dismay, to 

104. LadyAudley’s Secret... 20 

105. Woman’s Place To-day. 20 

106. Dunallan, 2 parts, each. 15 

107. H ousekeeping and Home 

making 15 

108. No New Thing 20 

109. TheSpoopendykePapers.2o 
no. False Hopes.... ... ....15 

111. Labor and Capital 20 

1 12. Wanda, 2 parts, each... 15 

1 1 3 . M ore W ords about Bible . 20 

114. Monsieur Lecocq, P’t. 1 . 20 
Monsieur Lecocq, Pt. 1 1 . 20 

115. An Outline of Irish Hist.io 


116. The Lerouge Case 20 

1 17. Paul Clifford 20 

iiA A New Lease of Life.. .20 

1 19. Bourbon Lilies 20 

120. Other People’s Money.. 20 

121. Lady of Lyons.. 

122. Ameline de Boufg 15 

123. A Sea Queen 20 

124. The Ladies Lindores. ..20 

125. Haunted Hearts 10 

12^ Loys, Lord Beresford. . .20 


lay. Under Two Flags, Pt 
Under Two Flags, Pt 

128. Money 

129. In Peril of His Life. 

130. India; What can it te: 

us? 

X3t. Jets and Flashes 

132. Moonshine and Mar^ 

rites 

133. Mr. Scarborough 
• Family, 2 Parts, eac 

134. Arden 

*3 A Tower of Percemont., 

136. Yolande 

137. Cruel London 

13 A The Gilded Clique . 

139. Pike County Folks.. 

140. Cricket on the Hearti 

141. Henry Esmond 

142. Strange Adventures c 

Phaeton 

143. Denis Duval 

144. OldCuriosityShopjP't 
OldCuriosiwShopjP’rt 

145. Ivanhoe, Part I 

Ivanhoe, Part II 

146. White Wings 

147. The Sketch Book. . . . . 

148. Catherine 

149. Janet’s Repentance. .. 
ijjo. Bamaby Rudge, Part ' 
' Bamaby Rudge, Part . 

15 1. Felix Holt 

152. Richelieu 

153. Sunrise, Part 1 

153. Sunrise, Part II 

154. Tour of the World in 

Days 

*SS* Mystery of Orcival. . . . 

156, Lovel, the Widower.. 

157, Romantic Adventures 

a Milkmaid 

158. DavidCopperfield,Part 
f DavidCopperfield,P’rt 1 

159, Charlotte Temple. . . . 

160. Rienzi, 2 Parts, each . 

161, Promise of Marriage.. 

162. Faith and Unfaith.... 

163. The Happy Man 

164 Barry Lyndon 

165. Eyre’s Acquittal 

166. 20,000 Leases Under t 

Sea 

167. Anti-Slavery Days. . . . 
i 6A Beauty^ Daughters. . . 

169. Beyond the Sunrise . . . 

170. Hard Times. 

171. Tom Cringle’s Log . . , 

172. Vanity Fair 

i73« Underground Russia. . 

174. Middlemarch,2 Pts. eai 

175. Sir Tom 

17A Pelham 

177. The Storyof Ida 

17A Madcap Violet 

179. The Little Pilgrim.... 

180. Kilmeny 

181. Whist, or Bumblepuppi 

182. That Beautiful Wretcl 

183. Her Mother’s Sin..,. 

184. Green Pastures, etc. .< 
tS^ M'^sterious Isand, Pt 


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ALICE’S 


ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 


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ALICE’S 


ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 


BY 


LEWIS CARROLL. 


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WITH FOR TY- TWO ILL USTRA TIONS 

BY 

JOHN TENNIEL 


NEW YORK 

JOHN W. LOVELL COMPANY 

14 AND 16 Vesey Street 


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V 





All in the golden afternoon 
Full leisurely we glide ; 

For both our oars, with little skill, 

By little arms are plied, 

While little hands make vain pretence 
Our wanderings to guide. 


Ah, cruel Three ! In such an hour. 
Beneath such dreamy weather, 

To beg a tale, of breath too weak 
To stir the tiniest feather ! 

Yet what can one poor voice avail 
Against three tongues together ? 


Imperious Prima flashes forth 
Her edict to “ begin it ” — 

In gentler tone Secunda hopes 
“ There will be nonsense in it ** — 
Wile Tertia interrupts the tale 
Not more than once a minute. 


Anon, to sudden silence won. 

In fancy they pursue 
The dream-child moving through a land 
Of wonders wild and new, 

In friendly chat with bird or beast — 
And half believe it true. 


And ever, as the story drained 
The wells of fancy dry, 

And faintly strove that weary one 
To put the subject by, 

‘‘The rest next time — ” “ It is next time ! 

The happy voices cry. 


Thus grew the tale of Wonderland : 

Thus slowly, one by one, 

Its quaint events were hammered out — 
And now the tale is done. 

And home we steer, a merry crew, 
Beneath the setting sun. 


Alice ! a childish story take, 

And with a gentle hand 
Lay it where Childhood’s dreams are twined 
In Memory’s mystic band, 

Like pilgrim’s withered wreath of flowers 
Plucked in a far-off land. 











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CONTENTS. 


CHAPTER page 

I. Down the Rabbit-Hole i 

II. The Pool of Tears 14 

III. A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale 28 

IV. The Rabbit sends in a Little Bill 40 

V. Advice from a Caterpillar 58 

VI. Pig and Pepper 75 

VII. A Mad Tea-Party 94 

VIII. The Queen’s Croquet-Ground iii 

IX. The Mock Turtle’s Story 126 

X. The Lobster Quadrille 146 

XI. Who Stole the Tarts ? 161 

XII. Alice’s Evidence 175 



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CHAPTER I. 

DOWN THE RABBIT-HOLE. 

Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting 
• by her sister on the bank, and of having nothing 
to do : once or twice she had peeped into the 
book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures 
or conversations in it, “ and what is the use of a 


2 


DOWN THE 


book,” thought Alice, “ without pictures or con- 
versations ? ” 

So she was considering in her own mind, ( as 
well as she could, for the hot day made her 
feel very sleepy and stupid,) whether, the pleasure 
of making a daisy-chain would be worth the 
trouble of getting up and picking the daisies, 
when suddenly a white rabbit with pink eyes ran 
close by her. 

There was nothing so very remarkable in that ; 
nor did Alice think it so very much out of the way 
to hear the Rabbit say to itself, “ Oh dear ! Oh 
dear ! I shall be too late ! ” (when she thought it 
over afterwards, it occurred to her that she ought 
to have wondered at this, but at the time it all 
seemed quite natural ) ; but when the Rabbit 
actually took a watch out of its waistcoat-pocket, 
and looked at it, and then hurried on, Alice started 
to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she* 
had never before seen a rabbit with either a waist- 
coat-pocket or a watch to take out of it, and, 
burning with curiosity, she ran across the field 


RABBIT HOLE. 


3 


after it, and was just in time to see it pop down 
a large rabbit-hole under the hedge. 

In another moment down went Alice after it, 
never once considering how in the world she was 
to get out again. 

The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel 
for some way, and then dipped suddenly down, so 
suddenly that Alice had not a moment to think 
about stopping herself before she found herself 
falling down what seemed to be a very deep well. 

Either the well was very deep or she fell very 
slowly, for she had plenty of time as she went 
down to look about her, and to wonder what was 
going to happen next. First, she tried to look 
down and make out what she was coming to, but 
it was too dark to see anything : then she looked 
at the sides of the well, and noticed that they 
were filled with cupboards and bookshelves : here 
and there she saw rnaps and pictures hung upon 
pegs. She took down a jar from one of the 
shelves as she passed ; it was labelled “ ORANGE 
MARMALADE,” but to her great disappoint- 


4 


DOWN THE 


merit it was empty : she did not like to drop the 
jar for fear of killing somebody underneath, so 
managed to put it into one of the cupboards as 
she fell past it. 

“Well ! ” thought Alice to herself, “ after such 
a fall as this, I shall think nothing of tumbling 
down stairs ! How brave they’ll all think me 
at home ! Why, I shouldn’t say anything about 
it, even if I fell off the top of the house ! ” (Which 
was very likely true.) 

Down, down, down. Would the fall never 
come to an end } “ I wonder how many miles 

I’ve fallen by this time } ” she said aloud. “ I 
must be getting somewhere near the centre of 
the earth. Let me see : that would be four 
thousand miles down, I think — ” (for, you see, 
Alice had learnt several things of this sort in her 
lessons in the schoolroom, and though this was 
not a very good opportunity for showing off her 
knowledge, as there was no one to listen to her, 
still it was good practice to say it over) “ — yes, 
that’s about the right distance — but then I wonder 


RABBIT-HOLE. 


5 


what Latitude or Longitude I’ve got to?” 
(Alice had not the slightest idea what Latitude 
was, or Longitude either, but she thought they 
were nice grand words to say.) 

Presently she began again. “ I wonder if I 
shall fall right through the earth ! How funny 
it’ll seem to come out among the people that 
walk with their heads downwards! The Anti- 
pathies, I think — ” (she was rather glad there was 
no one listening this time, as it didn’t sound at all 
the right word) “ — but I shall have to ask them 
what the name of the country is, you know. Please, 
Ma’am, is this New Zealand or Australia? ” (and 
she tried to curtsy as she spoke — fancy curtsying 
as you’re falling through the air! Do you think 
you could manage it ? ) “ And what an ignorant 

little girl she’ll think me for asking ! No, it’ll 
never do to ask : perhaps I shall see it written up 
somewhere.” 

Down, down, down. There was nothing else 
to do, so Alice soon began talking again. 
“ Dinah’ll miss me very much to-night, I should 


6 


DOWN THE 


think ! (Dinah was the cat.) “ I hope they’ll 
remember her saucer of milk at tea-time. Dinah 
my dear ! I wish you were down here with me ! 
There are no mice in the air, I’m afraid, but you 
might catch a bat, and that’s very like a mouse, 
you know. But do cats eat bats, I wonder } ” 
And here Alice began to get rather sleepy and 
went on saying to herself, in a dreamy sort of 
way, “ Do cats eat bats ? Do cats eat bats ? ” 
and sometimes, “ Do bats eat cats ? ” for, you 
see, as she couldn’t answer either question, it 
didn’t much matter which way she put it She 
felt that she was dozing off, and had just begun 
to dream that she was walking hand in hand 
with Dinah, and was saying to her very earnestly, 
“Now, Dinah, tell me the truth: did you ever 
eat a bat.^” when suddenly, thump! thump I 
down she came upon a heap of sticks and dry 
leaves, and the fall was over. 

Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up 
on to her feet in a moment : she looked up, but 
it was all dark overhead; before her was an- 


RABBIT-HOLE. 


7 


other lOng passage, and the White Rabbit was 
still in sight, hurrying down it. There was 
not a moment to be lost : away went Alice like 
the wind, and was just in time to hear it say, as 
it turned . a corner, “ Oh my ears and whiskers, 
how late it’s getting ! ” She was close behind 
it when she turned the corner, but the Rabbit 
was no longer to be seen: she found herself in 
a long, low hall, which was lit up by a row of 
lamps hanging from the roof. 

There were doors all round the hall, but they 
were all locked, and when Alice had been all 
the way down one side and up the other, trying 
every door, she walked sadly down the middle, 
wondering how she was ever to get out again. 

Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged 
table, all *made of solid 'glass ; there was nothing 
on it but a tiny golden key, and Alice’s first 
idea was that this might belong to one of the 
doors of the hall ; but alas ! either the locks 
were too large, or the key was too small, but 
at any rate it would not open any of them. 


8 


DOWN THE 


However, on the second time round, she came 

upon a low cur- 
tain she had not 
noticed before, 
and behind it 
was a little door 
about fifteen 
inches high : she 
tried the little 
golden key in 
the lock, and to her great delight it fitted ! 

Alice opened the door and found that it led 
into a small passage, not much larger than a 
rat-hole : she knelt down and looked along the 
passage into the loveliest garden you ever saw. 
How she longed to get out of that dark hall, 
and wander about among those beds "^of bright 
flowers and those cool fountains, but she could 
not even get her head through the doorway; 
“ and even if my head would go through,” thought 
poor Alice, “ it would be of very little use with- 
out my shoulders. Oh/ how I wish I could 



RABBIT-HOLE. 


9 


shut up like a telescope! I think I could, if 
I only knew how to begin.” For, you see, so 
many out-of-the-way things had happened lately 
that Alice had begun to think that very few 
things indeed were really impossible. 

There seemed to be no use in waiting by 
the little door, so she went back to the table, 
half hoping she might find another key on it, 
or at any rate a book of rules for shutting 
people up like telescopes : this time she found 
a little bottle on it, (“ which certainly was not 
here before,” said Alice,) and tied round the 
neck of the bottle was a paper label with the 
words “DRINK ME” beautifully printed on 
it in large letters. 

It was all very well to say “ Drink me,” but 
the wise little Alice was not going to do that 
in a hurry: “no. I’ll look first,” she said, “and 
see whether it’s marked ‘ poison ’ or not : ” for 
she had read several nice little stories about 
children who had got burnt, and eaten up by 
wild beasts, and other unpleasant things, ^all 


lO 


DOWN THE 


because they would not remember the simple 

rules their friends 
had taught them, 
such as, that a red- 
hot poker will burn 
you if you hold it 
too long ; and that 
if you cut your 
finger very deeply 
with a knife, it 
usually bleeds ; and 
she had never forgot- 
ten that, if you drink 
much from a bottle marked “ poison,” it is almost 
certain to disagree with you sooner or later. 

However, this bottle was 7tot marked “ poison,” 
so Alice ventured to taste it, and finding it very 
nice, (it had, in fact, a sort of mixed flavor of 
cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple, roast turkey, toffy, 
and hot buttered toast), she very soon finished it off. 



RABBIT-HOLE. 


II 


“ What a curious feeling ! said Alice, “ I must 
be shutting up like a telescope.” 

And so it was indeed ; she was now only ten 
inches high, and her face brightened up at the 
thought that she was now the right size for going 
through the little door into that lovely garden. 
First, however, she waited for a few minutes to 
see if she was going to shrink any further : she 
felt a little nervous about this, “ for it might end, 
you know,” said Alice to herself, “ in my going 
out altogether, like a candle. I wonder what I 
should be like then ? ” And she tried to fancy 
what the flame of a candle looks like after the 
candle is blown out, for she could not remember 
ever having seen such a thing. * 

After a while, finding that nothing more hap- 
pened, she decided on going into the garden at 
once, but, alas for poor Alice ! when she got to the 
door, she found she had forgotten the little golden 
key, and when she went back to the table for it, 
sfce found she could not possibly reach it ; she 
coui:^ see it quite plainly through the glass, and 


12 


DOWN THE 


she tried her best to climb up one of the legs of 
the table, but it was too slippery, and when she 
had tired herself out with trying, the poor little 
thing sat down and cried. 

“ Come, there’s no use in crying like that ! ” 
said Alice to herself, rather sharply, “ I advise 
you to leave off this minute ! ” She generally gave 
herself very good advice, (though she very seldom 
followed it,) and sometimes she scolded herself so 
severely as to bring tears into her eyes, and once 
she remembered trying to box her own ears for 
having cheated herself in a game of croquet she 
was playing against herself, for this curious child 
was very fond of pretending to be two people. 
“ But it’s no use now,” thought poor Alice, “ to 
pretend to be two people ! Why, there’s hardly 
enough of me left to. make one respectable 
person ! ” 

Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was 
lying under the table ; she opened it, and found 
in it a very small cake, on which the words 
“ EAT ME ” were beautifully marked in currents. 


RABBIT-HOLE. 


13 


“ Well, ril eat it,” said Alice, “ and if it makes me 
grow larger, I can reach the key ; and if it makes 
me grow smaller, I can creep under the door ; so 
either way I’ll get into the garden, and I don’t 
care which happens ! ” 

She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself 
“ Which way ? Which way ? ” holding her hand 
on the top of her head to feel which way it was 
growing, and she was quite surprised to find that 
she remained the same size : to be sure, this is 
what generally happens when one eats cake, but 
Alice had got so much into the way of expecting 
nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen, that 
it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on 
in the common way. 

So she set to work, and very soon finished o£^ 
the cake. 

* m 0 

*00 
0 0 0 * 


CHAPTER II. 


THE POOL OF TEARS. 

“ CuRiousER and cu- 
riouser ! ” cried Alice 
(she was so much sur- 
prised, that for the 
moment she quite for- 
got how to speak good 
English) ; “ now Pm 
opening out like the 
largest telescope that 
ever was ! Good-bye, 
feet! ’’(for when she 
looked down at her 
feet, they seemed to 
be almost out of sight, 
they were getting so 
far off) “ Oh, my poor 



THE POOL OF TEARS. 


15 


little feet, I wonder who will put on your shoes 
and stockings for you now, dears ? I’m sure 
/ shan’t be able! I shall be a great deal too 
far off to trouble myself about you : you must 
manage the best way you can ; — but I must be 
kind to them,” thought Alice, “ or perhaps they 
won’t walk the way I want to go I Let me see : 
I’ll give them a new pair of boots every Christ- 
mas.” 

And she went on planning to herself how she 
w^ould manage it. “ They must go by the car- 
rier,” she thought; “and how funny it’ll seem, 
sending presents to one’s own feet I And how 
odd the directions will look ! 

Alice s Right Footy Esq., 

Hearthrug, 

near the Fender, 

(with Alice’s level) 

Oh dear, what nonsense I’m talking ! ” 

Just at this moment her head struck against thfe 
roof of the hall : in fact she was now rather more 
than nine feet high, and she at once took up the 


i6 


THE POOL 


little golden key and hurried off to the garden 
door. 

Poor Alice ! It was as much as she could do, 
lying down on one side, to look through into the 
garden with one eye ; but to get through was more 
hopeless than ever : she sat down and began to 
cry again. 

“ You ought to be ashamed of yourself,” said 
Alice, “ a great girl like you,” (she might well say 
this,) “ to go on crying in this way ! Stop this 
moment, I tell you 1 ” But she went on all the 
same, shedding gallons of tears, until there was a 
large pool all round her, about four inches deep 
and reaching half down the hall. 

After a time she heard’ a little pattering of feet 
in the distance, and she hastily dried her eyes to 
see what was coming. It was the White Rabbit 
returning, splendidly dressed, with a pair of white 
kid gloves in one hand and a large fan in the 
other : he came trotting along in a great hurry, 
muttering to himself as he came. “Oh! the 
Duchess, the Duchess I Oh I won’t she be savage 


OF TEARS 



if Tve kept her waiting ! ” Alice felt so desperate 
that she was ready to ask help of any one ; so, 
when the Rabbit came near her, she began, in a 

low, timid voice, “ If you please, sir ” The 

Rabbit started violently, dropped the white kid 


i8 


THE POOL 


gloves and the fan, and skurried away into the 
darkness as hard as he could go. 

Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the 
hall was very hot, she kept fanning herself all 
the time she went on talking : “ Dear, dear ! 

How queer everything is to-day ! And yesterday 
things went on just as usual. I wonder if I’ve 
been changed in the night .f* Let me think : was 
I the same when. I got up this morning I almost 
think I can remember feeling a little different 
But if I’m not the same, the next question, is Who 
in the world am I ? Ah, that's the great puzzle ! ” 
And she began thinking over all the children she 
knew, that were of the same age as herself, to see 
if she could have been changed for any of them. 

“ I’m sure I’m not Ada,” she said, “ for her hair 
goes in such long ringlets, and mine doesn’t go in 
ringlets at all ; and I’m sure I can’t be Mabel, for I 
know all sorts of things, and she, oh ! she knows such 
a very little ! Besides, shes she, and l7n I, and — 
oh dear, how puzzling it all is ! I’ll try if I know 
all the things I used to know. Let me see: four 


OF TEARS. 


19 


times five is twelve, and foui times six is thirteen, 
and four times seven is — oh dear ! I shall never 
^get to twenty at that rate! However, the Multh 
plication Table don’t signify : let’s try Geography, 
i London is the capital of Paris, and Paris is the 
capital of Rome, and Rome — no, that's all wrong, 
Pm certain I I must have been changed for 
Mabel 1 I’ll try and say ‘ How doth the little — ’ ” 
and she crossed her hands on her lap, as if she 
were saying lessons, and began to repeat it, but her 
voice sounded hoarse and strange, and the words 
did not come the same as they used to do : — 

How doth the little crocodile 
Improve his shining tail, 

And pour the waters of the Nile 
On every golden scale ! 

How cheerfully he seems to grin^ 

How neatly spreads his clawSy 
And welcomes little fishes in 
With gently smiling jaws ! ” 



20 


THE POOL 


“ Tm sure those are not the right words,” said 
poor Alice, and her eyes filled with tears again as 
she went on, “ I must be Mabel after all, and I 
shall have to go and live in that poky little house, 
and have next to no toys to play with, and oh! 
ever so many lessons to learn 1 No, Tve made 
up my mind about it ; if I’m Mabel, I’ll stay down 
here I It’ll be no use their putting their heads 
down and saying. ‘ Come up again, dear I ’ I 
shall only look up and say, ‘ Who am I, then } 
Tell me that first, and then, if I like being that 
person, I’ll come up: if not, I’ll stay down here 
till I’m somebody else ’ — but, oh dear I ” cried Alice 
with a sudden burst of tears, “ I do wish they 
wo7ild put their heads down 1 I am so very tired 
of being all alone here ! ” 

As she said this, she looked down at her hands, 
and was surprised to see that she had put on one 
of the Rabbit’s little white kid gloves while she was 
talking. “ can I have done that ? ” she thought. 
“ I must be growing small again.” She got up 
and went to the table to measure herself by it, and 


OF TEARS. 


21 


that, as nearly as she could guess, she was 
now about two feet high, and was going on shrink- 
ing rapidly : she soon found out that the cause 
of this was the fan she was holding, and she 
dropped it hastily, just in time to save herself from 
shrinking away altogether. 

“ That was a narrow escape ! ” said Alice, a 
good deal frightened at the sudden change, but 
very glad to find herself still in existence ; “ and 
now for the garden ! ” and she ran with all speed 
back to the little door: but alas! the little door 
was shut again, and the little golden key was 
lying on the glass table as before, “ and things 
are worse than ever,” thought the poor child, 
“ for I never was so small as this before, never 1 
And I declare it’s too bad, that it is ! ” 

As she said these words her foot slipped, and 
in another moment, splash 1 she was up to ^ 
chin in salt water. Her first idea was ' 
had somehow fallen into the 


22 


THE POOL 



and had come to the general conclusion, that 
wherever you go to on the English coast you find 
a number of bathing machines in the sea, some 
children digging in the sand with wooden spades, 
then a row of lodging houses, and behind them a 
railway station.) However she soon made out 
that she was in the pool of tears which she had 
wept when she was nine feet high. 

“ I wish I hadn’t cried so much ! ” said Alice 
'■ "Ee swam about, trying to find her way out. 

' all be punished for it now, I suppose, by 
-n my own tears ! That will be 


OF TEARS. 


23 


Just then she heard something splashing about 
in the pool a little way off, and she swam nearer 
to make out what it was ; at first she thought it 
must be a walrus or hippopotamus, but then she 
remembered how small she was now, and she soon 
made out that it was only a mouse, that it had 
slipped in like herself. 

“ Would it be of any use, now,” thought Alice, 
“ to speak to this mouse ? Everything is so out- 
of-the-way down here, that I should think very 
likely it can talk : at any rate there’s no harm in 
trying.” So she began : “ O Mouse, do you know 
the way out of this pool ? I am very tired of 
' swimming about here, O Mouse ! ” (Alice thought 
this must be the right way of speaking to a mouse 
she had never done such a thing before, but she 
remembered having seen in her brother’s Latin 
Grammar, “ A mouse — of a mouse — to a mouse — 
a mouse — O mouse ! ” The Mouse looked at 
her rather inquisitively, and seemed to her to wink 
with one of its little eyes, but it said nothing. 

“ Perhaps it doesn’t understand English,” 


24 


THE POOL 


thought Alice I daresay it’s a French mouse, 
come over with William the Conqueror.” (For, 
with all her knowledge of history, Alice had no 
very clear notion how long ago anything had 
happened.) So she began again : “ Ou est ma 
chatte?” which was the first sentence in her 
French lesson-book. The Mouse gave a sudden 
leap out of the water, and seemed to quiver all 
over with fright. “ Oh, I beg your pardon ! ’’ 
cried Alice hastily, afraid that she had hurt the 
poor animal’s feelings. “ I quite forgot you didn’t 
like cats.” 

“ Not like cats! ” cried the Mouse, in a shrill, 
passionate voice. “ Would like cats if you' 
were me ? ” 

“ Well, perhaps not,” said Alice in a soothing 
tone : “ don’t be angry about it. And yet I wish 
I could show you our cat Dinah : I think ypu’d 
take a fancy to cats if you could only see her. 
She is such a dear quiet thing,” Alice went on, 
half to herself, as she swam lazily about in the 
pool, “ and she sits purring so nicely by the fire, 


OF TEARS. 


25 



licking her paws and washing her face — and she 
is such a nice soft thing to nurse — and she’s 

such a capital one for catching mice oh, I beg 

your pardon ! ” cried Alice again, for this time the 
Mouse was bristling all over, and she felt certain 
it must be really offended. “ We won’t talk about 
her any more if you’d rather not.” 

“ We, indeed ! ” cried the Mouse, who was 
trembling down to the end of his tail. “ As if 1 
would talk on such a subject ! Our family always 
hated cats : nasty, low, vulgar things ! Don’t let 
me hear the name again ! ” 

“ I won’t indeed ! said Alice, in a great hurry 


26 


A POOL 


to change the subject of conversation. “ Are you 
—are you fond— of— of dogs ? ” The mouse did 
not answer, so Alice went on eagerly : There 
is such a nice little dog near our house I should 
like to show you ! A little bright-eyed terrier, you 
know, with oh ! such long curly brown hair ! And 
it’ll fetched things when you throw then . '’ll 
sit up and beg for its dinner, and all sorts of things 
— I can’t remember half of them — and it belongs 
to a farmer, you know, and he says it’s so useful, 
it’s worth a hundred pounds ! He says it kills 
all the rats and — oh dear ! ” cried Alice in a 
sorrowful tone. I’m afraid I’ve offended it 
again ! ” For the Mouse was swimming away 
from her as hard as it could go, and making quite 
a commotion in the pool as it went. 

So she called softly after it : “ Mouse dear! Do 
come back again, and we won’t talk about cats or 
dogs either, if you don’t like them ! ” When the 
Mouse heard this, it turned round and swam slowly 
back to her : its face was quite pale (with passion, 
Alice thought), and it said in a low, trembling 


OF TEARS. 


27 


voice, “ Let us get to the shore, and then I’ll tell 
you my history, and you’ll understand why it is I 
hate cats and dogs,” 

It was high time to go, for the pool was getting 
quite crowded with the birds and animals that 
had fallen into it : there was a Duck and a Dodo, 
a Lory and an Eaglet, and several other curious 
creatures. Alice led the way, and the whole party 
swam to the shore. 



CHAPTER III. 

A CAUCUS-RACE AND A LONG TALE. 

They were indeed a queer-looking party that 
assembled on the bank — the birds with draggled 
feathers, the animals with their fur clinging close 
to them, and all dripping wet, cross, and uncom- 
fortable. 

The first question of course was, how to get 
dry again : they had a consultation about this, 


A CAUCUS-RACE AND A LONG TALE. 


29 


and after a few minutes it seemed quite natural to 
Alice to find herself talking familiarly with them, 
as if she had known them all her life. Indeed' 
she had quite a long argument with the Lory, 
who at last turned sulky, and would only say, “ I 
am older than you, and must know better ; ” and 
this Alice would not allow, without knowing how 
old it was, and as the Lory positively refused to 
tell its age, there was no more to be said. 

At last the Mouse who seemed to be a person 
of some authority among them, called out, “ Sit 
down, all of you, and listen to me ! Fll soon 
make you dry enough ! ” They all sat down at 
once, in a large ring, with the Mouse in the middle. 
Alice kept her eyes anxiously fixed on it, for she 
felt sure she would catch a bad cold if she did not 
get dry very soon. 

“ Ahem ! said the Mouse with an important 
air, “ are you all ready } This is the driest thing 
I know. Silence all round, if you please ! 

‘ William the Conqueror, whose cause was favored 
by the pope, was soon submitted to by the 


30 


A CAUCUS-RACE 


English, who wanted leaders, and had been of late 
much accustomed to usurpation and conquest 
Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and 
Northumbia — ’ ” 

I “Ugh!” said the Lory, with a shiver. 

“ I beg your pardon ? ” said the Mouse, frown- 
ing, but very politely : “ Did you speak ? ” 

“Not I !” said the Lory, hastily. 

“ I thought you d’*'^ ” ' - Mouse. — “ I pro- 

, , .p,, . ..ae party were placedN^^ 

course, here and there. There was no “ One, two, 

three, and away,” but they began running when 

they liked, and left off when they liked, so that it 

was not easy to know when the race was over 

However, when they had been running half-an- 

hour or so, and were quite dry again, the Dodo 

suddenly called out, “ The race is over 1 ” and they 

all crowded round it, panting, and asking, “ But 

who has won ? ” 

The question the Dodo could not answer with- 
out a great deal of thought, and it sat for a long 
time' with one finger pressed upon its forehead. 


AND A LONG TALE. 


31 


with Edgar Atheling to meet William and offer 
him the crown. William’s conduct at first was 
moderate. But the insolence of his Normans — ’ 
How are you getting on now, my dear ? ” it con- 
tinued, turning to Alice as it spoke. 

“ As wet as ever,” said Alice in a melancholy 
tone : “ it doesn’t seem to dry me at all.” 

“ In that case,” said the Dodo solemnly, rising 
to its feet, “ I move t^ *'>--‘-he meeting adjourn, for 
^■he imme^" '"'e enerp‘p>iV 


32 


A CAUCUS-RACE 


paused as if it thought that somebody ought to 
speak, and no one else seemed inclined to say 
anything. 

“ Why,” said the Dodo, “ the best way to ex- 
plain it is to do it.” (And as you might like to 
try the thing yourself, some winter day, I will tell 
you how the Dodo managed it). 

First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of 
circle, (“ the exact shape does’nt matter,” it said,) 
and then all "*'-^ong tl^c- 


AND A LONG TALE. 


33 


(the position in which you usually see Shake- 
speare, in the pictures of‘ him), while the rest 
waited in silence. At last the Dodo said, “ Every- 
body has won, and all must have prizes.” 

“ But who is to give the prizes ” quite a chorus 
of voice asked. 

“ Why, she^ of course,” said the Dodo, pointing 
to Alice with one finger ; and the whole party at 
once crowded round her, calling out in a con- 
fused way, “ Prizes ! Prizes ! ” 

Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair 
she put her hand in her pocket, and pulled out a 
box of comfits, (luckily the salt water had not got 
into it), and handed them round as prizes. There 
was exactly one a-piece, all round. 

“ But she must have a prize herself, you know,” 
said the Mouse, 

“ Of course,” the Dodo replied very gravely. 
“ What else have you got in your pocket 'I ” he 
went on, turning to Aljce. 

“ Only a thimble,” said Alice sadly. 

“ Hand it over here ” said the Dodo. 


34 


A CAUCUS-RACE 



Then they all crowded round her once more, 
while the Dodo solemnly presented the thimble, 
saying, “We beg your acceptance of this elegant 
thimble ; ” and, when it had finished this short 
speech, they all cheered. 


AND A LONG TALE. 


35 


Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but 
they all looked so grave that she did not dare to 
laugh, and as she could not think of anything to 
say, she simply bowed, and took the thimble, look- 
ing as solemn as she could. 

The next thing- was to eat the comfits : this 
caused some noise and confusion, as the large 
birds complained that they could not taste theirs 
and the small ones choked and had to be patted 
on the back. However it was all over at last, and 
they sat down again in the ring, and begged the 
Mouse to tell them something more. 

“You promised to tell me your history, you 
know,” said Alice, “ and why it is you hate — C 
and D,” she added in a whisper, half afraid that it 
would be offended again. 

Mine is a long and a sad tale ! ” said the 
Mouse, turning to Alice, and sighing. 

“ It is a long tail, certainly,” said Alice, look- 
ing down with wonder at the Mouse’s tail ; “ but 
why do you call it sad } ” And she kept on 
puzzling about it while the Mouse was speaking, 


3 ^ 


A CAUCUS-RACE 


SO that her idea of the tale was something like 

this : “ Fury said to 

a mouse, That 

he met 
in the 
house, 

Let us 
. both go 
to law : 

/will 
prosecute 
you . — 

Come, I’ll 
take no 
denial ; 

We must 
have a 
trial. 

For 

really 

this 

morning 

Pve 

nothing 
to do.* 

Said the 
mouse to 
the cur, 

‘ Such a 
trial, 
dear sir, 

With no 
jury or 
judge 

would be 
wasting 

our breath 
‘ ril be 

Sai 

cunning 

' old F ury i 

‘111 trv 

the whole 
cause 
and 
condemn 
you 
to 

death.’" 


AND A LONG TALE. 


37 


“ You are not attending 1 ” said the Mouse to 
Alice, severely. “ What are you thinking of ? ” 

“ I beg your pardon,” said Alice very humbly: 
“ you had got to the fifth bend, I think ? ” 

“ I had ! ” cried the Mouse, sharply and 
very angrily. 

“ A knot 1 ” said Alice, always ready to make 
herself useful, and looking anxiously about her. 
“ Oh, do let me help to undo it ! ” 

“ I shall do nothing of the sort,” said the Mouse, 
getting up and walking away. “You insult me 
by talking such nonsense ! ” 

“ I didn’t mean it ! ” pleaded poor Alice. “ But 
you’re so easily offended, you know ! ” 

The Mouse only growled in reply. 

“ Please come back, and finish your story ! ” 
Alice called after it ; and the others all joined in 
chorus, “Yes, please do! ’’but the Mouse only 
shook its head impatiently, and walked a little 
quicker. 

“ What a pity it wouldn’t stay I ” sighed, the 
Lory, as boon as it was quite out of sight ; and an 


33 


A CAUCUS-RACE 


old crab took the opportunity of saying to her 
daughter, “ Ah, my dear ! Let this be a lesson to 
you never to your temper!” “ Hold your 
tongue, Ma 1 ” said the young crab, a little snap- 
pishly. “ You’re enough to try the patience of an 
oyster 1 ” 

“ I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!” 
said Alice aloud, addressing nobody in particular. 
“ She’d soon fetch it back ! ” 

“ And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask 
the question ? ” said the Lory. 

Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready 
to talk about her pet. “ Dinah’s our cat. And 
she’s suc|i a capital one for catching mice, you 
can’t think ! And oh, I wish you could see her 
after the birds ! Why, she’ll eat a little bird as 
soon as look at it ! ” 

This speech caused a remarkable sensation 
among the party. Some of the birds hurried off 
at once : one old magpie began wrapping itself 
up very carefully, remarking, “ I really m.ust be 
getting home; the night-air doesn’t suit my 


AND A LONG TALE. 


39 


throat! ” and a canary called out in a trembling 
voice to its children, “ Come away, my dears I 
It’s high time you were all in bed 1 ” On various 
pretexts they all moved off, and Alice was soon 
left alone. 

“ I wise I hadn’t mentioned Dinah I ” she said 
to herself in a melancholy tone. “ Nobody seems 
to like her, down here, and I’m sure she’s the best 
cat in the world I Oh, my dear Dinah ! I wonder 
if I shall ever see you any more I ” And here 
poor Alice began to cry again, for she felt very 
lonely and low-spirited. In a little while, how- 
ever, she again heard a little pattering of foot- 
steps in the distance, and she looked up eagerly, 
half hoping that the Mouse had changed his 
mind, and was coming back to finish his story. 


CHAPTER IV. 


THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL. 

It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back 
again, and looking anxiously about as it went, as 
if it had lost something ; and she heard it mutter- 
ing to itself, “The Duchess! The Duchess! 
Oh my dear paws I Oh my fur and whiskers 1 
She’ll get me executed, as sure as ferrets are 
ferrets 1 Where can I have dropped them I won- 
der ! ” Alice guessed in a moment that it was 
looking for the fan and the pair of white kid 
gloves, and she very goodnaturedly began hunt- 
about for them, but they were nowhere to be seen 


THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL. 


41 


— everything seemed to have changed since her 
swim in the pool, and the great hall, with the 
glass table and the little door, had vanished com- 
pletely. 

Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she 
went hunting about, and calling out to her in an 
angry tone, “ Why, Mary Ann, vrhat are you do- 
ing out here ? Run home this moment, and 
fetch me a pair of gloves and a fan ! Quick, 
now ! ” And Alice was so much frightened that 
she ran off at once in the direction it pointed to, 
without trying to explain the mistake that it had 
made. 

“He took me for his housemaid,” she said to 
herself as she ran. “ How surprised he’ll be when 
he finds out who I am ! But I’d better take him 
his fan and gloves — that is, if I can find them.” 
As she said this, she came upon a neat little 
house, on the door of which was a bright brass 
plate with the name “ W. RABBIT,” engraved 
upon it. She went in without knocking, and 
hurried upstairs, in great fear lest she should 


42 


THE RABBIT SENDS 


meet the real Mary Ann, and be turned out of 
the house before she had found the fan and 
gloves. 

“ How queer it seems,” Alice said to herself, 
“ to be going messages for a rabbit ! I suppose 
Dinah’ll be sending me on messages next!” 
And she began fancying the sort of thing that 
would happen : “ ‘ Miss Alice 1 Come here di- 
rectly, and get ready for your walk 1 ’ ' Coming 

in a minute, nurse! But I’ve got to watch this 
mousehole till Dinah comes back, and see that 
the mouse doesn’t get out.’ Only I don’t think,” 
Alice went on, “ that they’d let Dinah stop in the 
house if it began ordering people about like 
that!” 

By this time she had found her way into a tidy 
little room with a table in the window, and on it 
(as she had hoped) a fan and two or three pairs of 
tiny white kid gloves : she took up the fan and a 
pair of the gloves, and was just going to leave the 
room, when her eye fell upon a little bottle that 
stood near the looking-glass. There was no label 


IN A LITTLE BILL. 


43 


this time with the words “DRINK ME,” but 
nevertheless she uncorked it and put it to her 
lips. “ I know something interesting is sure to 
happen,” she said to herself, “ whenever I eat or 
drink anything ; so I’ll just see what this bottle 
does. I do hope it’ll make me grow large again, 
for really I’m quite tired of being such a tiny 
little thing! ” 

It did so indeed, and much sooner than she had 
expected : before she had drunk half the bottle, 
she found her head pressing against the ceiling, 
and had to stoop to save her neck from being 
broken. She hastily put down the bottle, saying 
to herself, “ That’s quite enough — I hope I shan’t 
grow any more — As it is, I can’t get out at 
the door — I do wish I hadn’t drunk quite so 
much ! 

Alas! It was too late to wish that ! She went 
on growing and growing, and very soon had to 
kneel down on the floor : in another minute there 
was not even room for this, and she tried the 
effect of lying down, with one elbow against the 


44 


THE RABBIT SENDS 



door, and the other arm curled round her head- 
Still she went on growing, and, as a last resource, 
she put one arm out of the window, and one foot 
up the chimney, and said to herself, “Now I can 
do no more, whatever happens. What will be- 
come of me ? ” 

Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had 
now, had its full effect, and she grew no larger ; 
still it was very uncomfortable, and, as there 
seemed to be no sort of chance of her ever get- 


IN A LITTLE BILL 


45 


ting out of the room again, no wonder she felt un- 
happy. 

“ It was much pleasanter at home,” thought 
poor Alice, “ when one wasn’t always growing 
larger and smaller, and being ordered about by 
mice and rabbits. I almost wish I hadn’t gone 
down that rabbit-hole — and yet — and yet — it’s 
rather curious, you know, this sort of life ! I do 
wonder what can have happened to me ! When 
I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that kind of 
thing never happened, and now here I am in the 
middle of one ! There ought to be a book written 
about me, that there ought ! And when I grow 
up. I’ll write one — but I’m grown up now,” she 
added in a sorrowful tone, “ at least there’s no 
room to grow up any more here!' 

“ But then,” thought Alice, “ shall I never get 
any older than I am now t That’ll be a comfort, 
one way — never to be an old woman — but then — 
always to have lessons to learn ! Oh, I shouldn’t 
like that I ” 


f 


46 


THE RABBIT SENDS 


Oh, you foolish Alice ! ” she answered herself. 
“ How can you learn lessons in here ? Why, 
there’s hardly room for you, and no room at all 
for any lesson-books ! ” 

And so she went on, taking first one side and 
then the other, and making quite a conversa- 
tion of it altogether, but after a few minutes she 
heard a voice outside, and stopped to listen. 

“ Mary Ann ! Mary Ann ! ” said the voice, 
“ fetch me my gloves this moment ! ” Then came 
a little pattering of feet on the stairs. Alice knew 
it was the Rabbit coming to look for her, and she 
trembled till she shook the house, quite forgetting 
that she was now about a thousand times as large 
as the Rabbit, and had no reason to be afraid 
of it. 

Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, and 
tried to open it, but as the door opened inwards, 
and Alices’s elbow was pressed hard against it, 
that attempt proved a failure. Alice heard it say 
to itself, “ Then I’ll go round and get in at the 
window.” 


IN A LITTLE BILL 


47 


“ That you won’t ! ” thought Alice, and after 
waiting till she fancied she heard the Rabbit just 
under the window, she suddenly spread out her 

hand, and made a 
snatch in the air. She 
did not get hold of 
anything, but she 
heard a little shriek 
and a fall, and a 
crash of broken glass, 
from which she con- 
cluded that it was 
just possible it had 
fallen into a cucum- 
ber-frame, or some- 
thing of the sort. 

Next came an angry voice — the Rabbit’s — 
“ Pat ! Pat ! Where are you } ” And then a 
a voice she had never heard before, “ Sure then, 
I’m here ! Digging for apples, yer honor! ” 

“ Digging for apples, indeed ! ” said the Rabbit 



48 


THE RABBIT SENDS 


angrily. “ Here ! Come and help me out of 
this ! (Sounds of more broken glass). 

“ Now tell me, Pat, what’s that in the win- 
dow ? ” 

“ Sure, it’s an arm, yer honor ! ” (He pro- 
nounced it “ arrum.”) 

“ An arm, you goose ! Who ever saw one that 
size ? Why, it fills the whole window ! ” 

“ Sure, it does, yer honor ' but it’s an arm for 
all that.” 

Well, it’s got no business there, at any rate: 
go and take it away ! ” 

There was a long silence after this, and Alice 
could only hear whispers now and then, such as, 
“ Sure, I don’t like it, yer honor, at all at all! ” “ Do 
as I tell you, you coward 1 ” and at last she spread 
out her hand again and made another snatch in 
the air. This time there were two little shrieks, 
and more sounds of broken glass. “ What a num- 
ber of cucumber frames there must be 1 ” thought 
Alice. “ I wonder what they’ll no next I As for pull- 
kig me out of the window, I only wish they could ! 


IN A LITTLE BILL 


49 


I’m sure / don’t want to stay in here any longer! ” 
She waited for some time without hearing any- 
thing more : at last came a rumbling of little cart- 
wheels, and the sounds of a good many voices all 
talking together : she made out the words, 
“ Where’s the other ladder ? — Why, I hadn’t to 
bring but one : Bill’s got the other — Bill 1 fetch it 
here, lad 1 — Here, put ’em up at this corner — No 
tie ’em together first — they don’t reach half high 
enough yet — Oh I they’ll do well enough ; don’t 
be particular — Here, Bill ! catch hold of this rope 
— Will the roof bear ? - -Mmd that loose slate — 
Oh, it’s coming down! Heads below !” (a loud 
crash)- New, who did that? — It was Bill, I 
farcy— -Who’s to go down the chimney ? — Nay, 1 
s’lf.r t! You diO\\,\ — That I won’t then! — Bill’s 
g'> to go down — Here, Bill ! the master says 
" Ai’ve got to go down the chimney ! ” 

‘ Oh, so Bill’s got to come down the chimney, 
'las he ? ” said Alice to herself. “Why, they seem 
to put everything upon Bill ! I wouldn’t be in 
i^^ill’s place for a good'^deal : this fireplace is nar- 


50 


THE RABBIT SENDS 


row, to be sure, but I 
think I can kick a 
little!” 

She drew her foot as 
far down the chimney as 
she could, and waited till 
she heard a little animal 
(she couldn’t guess of 
Viat sort it was) scratch- 
ing and scrambling about 
in the chimney close 
above her : then, sayiug 
to herself, “ This is 
Bill,” she gave one sharp 
kick, and waited to 'see 
what would happen 
next. 

The first thing she 
he heard was a general 
chorus of “ There goes 
Bill ! ” then the Rabbit’s 
voice alone, “ Catch him. 



you by the hedge 1 ” thep 


IN A LITTLE BILL. 


51 


silence, and then another confusion of voices — 
“ Hold up his head — Brandy now — Don’t choke 
How was it, old fellow ? What happened 
to you ? Tell us all about it ! ” 

Last came a little feeble squeaking voice, 
(“ That’s Bill,” thought Alice), “ Well, I hardly 
know — No more, thank’ye. I’m better now — but 
I’m a deal too flustered to tell you — all I know 
is, something comes at me like a Jack-in-the-box 
and up I goes like a sky-rocket ! ” 

“ So you did, old fellow I ” said the others. 

“ We must burn the house down I ” said 
the Rabbit’s voice, and Alice called out as loud 
as she could, “ If you do. I’ll set Dinah at 
you ! ” 

There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice 
thought to herself, “ I wonder what they will do 
next! If they had any sense, they’d take the roof 
off.” After a minute or two they began moving 
about again, and Alice heard the Rabbit say, “ A 
barrowful will do, toj^egin with.” 

“A barrowful of ” thought Alice; but 


52 


THE RABBIT SENDS 


she had not long to doubt, for the next moment 
a shower of little pebbles came rattling in at the 
window, and some of them hit her in the face. 
“ ril put a stop to this,” she said to herself, and 
shouted out, “ You’d better not do that again ! ” 
which produced another dead silence. 

Alice noticed with some surprise that the peb- 
bles were all turning into little cakes as they lay 
on the floor, and a bright idea came into her 
head. “ If I eat one of these cakes,” she thought, 
“ it’s sure to make some change in my size : and 
as it can’t possibly make me larger, it must make 
me smaller, I suppose.” 

So she swallowed one,^of the cakes, and was 
delighted to find that she began shrinking di- 
rectly. As soon as she was small enough to get 
through the door, she ran out of the house, and 
found quite a crowd of little animals and birds 
waiting outside. The poor little Lizard, Bill, was 
in the middle, being held up by two guinea-pigs, 
who were giving it something out of a bottle. 
They all made a rush at Alice the moment she 


IN A LITTLE BILL. 


53 


appeared, but she ran off as hard as she could, 
and soon found herself safe in a thick wood. 

“ The first thing I’ve got to do,” said Alice to 
herself, as she wandered about in the wood, “ is to 
grow to my right size again ; and the second 
thing is to find my way into that lovely garden. 
I think that will be the best plan.” 

It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and 
very neatly and simply arranged ; the only diffi- 
culty was, that she had not the smallest idea how 
to set about it ; and while she was peering about 
anxious among the trees, a little sharp bark just 
over her head made her look up in a great 
hurry. 

An enormous puppy '^as looking down at her 
with large round eyes, and feebly stretching out 
one paw, trying to touch her. “*Poor little 
thing ! ” said Alice in a coaxing tone, she tried 
hard to whistle to it, but she was terribly fright- 
ened all the time at the thought that it might be 
hungry, in which case it would be very likely to 
eat her up in spite of all her coaxing. 


54 


THE RABBIT SENDS 



Hardly knowing what she did, she picked up a 
little bit of a stick, and held it out to the puppy ; 
whereupon the puppy jumped into the air off all 
its feet at once, with a yelp of delight, and rushed 


IN A LITTLE BILL* 


55 


at the stick, and made believe to worry It ; then 
Alice dodged behind a great thistle, to keep her- 
self from being run over, and, the moment she 
appeared on the other side, the puppy made an- 
other rush at the stick, and tumbled head over 
heels in its hurry to get hold of it ; then Alice, 
thinking it was very like having a game of play 
with a cart-horse, and expecting every moment to 
be trampled under its feet, ran round the thistle 
• again ; then the puppy began a series of short 
charges at the stick, running a very little way for- 
wards each time and a long way back, and bark- 
ing hoarsely all the while, till at last it sat down 
^ a good way off, panting, with its tongue 
hanging out of its mouth, and its gteat eyes half 
shut. 

This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for 
making her escape, so she set off at once, and ran 
till she was quite tired and out of breath, and till 
the puppy's bark sounded quite faint in the dis- 
tance. 

“ And yet what a dear little puppy it was ! ” 


56 


THE RABBIT SENDS 


said Alice, as she leant against a buttercup to rest 
herself, and fanned herself with one of the leaves ; 
“ I should have liked teaching it tricks very much, 
if — if — rd only been the right size to do it ! Oh 
dear ! I’d nearly forgotten that I’ve got to grow 
up again ! Let me see — how is it to be managed ? 

I suppose I ought to eat or drink something or 
other ; but the great question is, what ? ” 

The great question certainly was, what ? Alice 
looked all round her at the flowers and the blades 
of gras^, but she could not .see anything that 
looked like the right thing to eat or drink under 
the circumstances. There was a large mushroom 
growing near her, about the same height as her- 
self, and when she had looked under it, and on 
both sides of it, and behind it, it occurred to her 
that she might as well look and see what was on 
the top of it. 

She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped 
over the edge of the mushroom, and her eyes im- 
mediately met those of a large blue caterpillar, 
that was sitting on the top with its arms folded, 


IN A LITTLE BILL. 


57 


quietly smoking a long hookah,- and taking not 
the smallest notice of her or of anything else. 



CHAPTER V. 


ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. 

The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other 
for some time in silence : at last the Caterpillar 
took the hookah out of its mouth, and addressed 
her in a languid, sleepy voice. 


ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. 


59 


“ Who are you ? ” said the Caterpillar. 

This was not an encouraging opening for"^ a 
conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, “ I — I 
hardly know, s*ir, just at present — at least I know 
who I was when I got up this morning, but I 
think I must have been changed several times 
since then.” 

“ What do you mean by that.? ” said the Cater- 
pillar sternly, “ Explain yourself ! ” 

“ I can’t explain myself, I’m afraid, sir,” 
said Alice, “because Fm not myself, you 
see.” 

“ I don’t see,” said the Caterpillar. 

“ Fm afraid I can’t put it ’more clearly,” 
Alice replied vei^y politely, “for I can’t under- 
stand it myself to begin with ; and being so 
many different sizes in a day is very confus- 
ing.” 

“ It isn’t,” said the Caterpillar. i 

“Well, perhaps you haven’t found it so yet,” 
said Alice ; “ but when you have to turn into a 
chrysalis — you will some day, you know — and 


6o 


ADVICE FROM A 


then after that into a butterfly, I should think 
you’ll feel it a little queer, wont you ? ” 

“ Not a bit,” said the Caterpillar. 

Well, perhaps your feelings may be different,” 
said Alice ; “ all I know is, it would feel very 
queer to mer 

“You! ’’said the Caterpillar contemptuously. 
“ Who are you ? ” 

Which brought them back again to the begin- 
ning of the conversation. Alice felt a little irri- 
tated at the Caterpillar’s making such very short 
rerriarks, and she drew herself up and said, very 
gravely, “ I think you ought to tell me who you 
are, first.” 

“ Why said the Caterpillar. 

Here was another puzzling question ; and, as 
Alice could not think of any good reason, and as 
the Caterpillar seemed to be in a very unpleasant 
state of mind, she turned away. 

“ Come back ! ” the Caterpillar called after her, 
“ I’ve something important to say I ” 

This sounded promising, certainly : Alice 
turned and came back again. 


CATERPILLAR. 


6l 


“ Keep your temper/’ said the Caterpillar. 

“ Is that all ? ” said Alice, swallowing down her 
anger as well as she could. 

“ No,” said the Caterpillar. 

Alice thought she might as well wait, as she 
had nothing else to do, and perhaps after all it 
might tell her something worth hearing. For 
some minutes it puffed away without speaking, 
but at last it unfolded its arms, took the hookah 
out of its mouth again, and said, “ So you think 
you’re changed, do you ? ” 

“ I’m afraid I am, sir,” said Alice ; “ I can’t re- 
member things as I used — and I don’t keep the 
same size for ten minutes together ! ” 

“ Can’t remember what things } ” said the Cater- 
pillar. 

“ Well, I’ve tried to say “ How doth the little 
busy bee,’ but it all came different ! ” Alice re- 
plied in a very melancholy voice. 

Repeat ‘ Vou are oldy Father William^ ” said 
the Caterpillar. 

Alice folded her hands, and began : — 


62 


ADVICE FROM A 



** You are old^ father Willianif the young man said-, 
“ And your hair has become very white ; 

And yet you incessantly stand on your head — 

Do you thmk., at your age^ it is right f ’ 

In my youthf father William replied to his son, 

I feared it might injtire the brain ; 

But now that Pm perfectly sure I have none 
Why, I do it again and again! 


CATERPILLAR. 


63 



“ Yott are old'" said the youth, as I mentioned before^ 
And have grown most uncommonly fat ; 

Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door — 
Pray<^ what is the reason of that f ” 

In my youth f sa'J the sage^ as he shook his gray locks, 
“ I kept all my limbs very supple 
By ths use of this ointment — one shilling the box — 
Allow me to sell you a couple A 


64 


ADVICE FROM A 



« Vot^ are old,'' said the youth, “ and your jaws are toe 
weak 

For anything tougher than suet ; 

Yet you jinished the goose, with the bones and the beak 
Pray, how did you ma^iage to do it ? ” 


“ In my youth,” said his father, ‘‘ / tv^k to the law, 
And argued each case with my wife, 

And the muscular strength, *‘which it gave to my jaw. 
Has lasted the rest of my life.” 


CATERPILLAR. 


65 



“ You are old'' said the youth ; “ one would hardly sup- 
pose 

That yottr eye was as steady as ever ; 

Yet you balanced a7t eel on the e7td of y^ur nose — 

WhqLt made you so awfully clever? " 

I have a7tswe7'ed three questio7ts^ and that is enough" 
Said his father ; “ do7i' t give yourself airs ! 

Do you thmk I ca7i liste7i all day to S7ich stuff? 

Be off, or I'll kick you dow7i stairs / " 


66 


ADVICE FROM A 


“ That is not said right,” said the Caterpillar. 

“ Not quite right, Fm afraid,” said Alice tim- 
idly ; “ some of the words have got altered.” 

“ It is wrong from beginning to end,” said the 
Caterpillar decidedly, and there was silence for 
some minutes. 

The Caterpillar was the first to speak. 

“ What size do you want to be ? ” it asked. 

“ Oh, Fm not particular as to size,” Alice has- 
tily replied ; “ only one doesn’t like changing so 
often, you know.” 

“ I dont know,” said the Caterpillar. 

Alice said nothing : she had never been so 
much contradicted in all her life before, and she 
felt that she was losing her temper. 

“ Are you content now ? ” said the Caterpillar. 

“ Well, I should like to be a little larger, sir, if 
you wouldn’t mind,” said Alice : “ three inches is 
such a wretched height to be.” 

“ It is a very good height indeed ! ” said the 
Caterpillar angrily, rearing itself upright as it 
spoke (it was exactly three int:hes high). 


CATERPILLAR. 6/ 

“ But I’m not used to it ! ” pleaded poor Alice 
in a piteous tone. And she thought to herself, 

“ I wish the creatures wouldn’t be so easily of- 
fended!” 

“ You’ll get used to it in time,” said the Cater- 
pillar ; and i.t put the hookah into its mouth and 
began smoking again. 

This time Alice waited patiently until it chose 
to speak again. In a minute or two the Cater- 
pillar took the hookah out of its mouth, and 
yawned one or twice, and shook itself. Then it got 
down off the mushroom, and crawled away into the 
grass, merely remarking as it went, “ One side 
will make you grow taller, and the other side will 
make you grow shorter.’' 

“ One side of what ? The other side of 
what? ” thought Alice to herself. 

“ Of the mushroom,” said the Caterpillar, just“ 
as if she had asked it aloud ; and in another mo- 
ment it was out of sight. 

Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the 
mushroom for a minute, trying to make out 


68 


ADVICE FROM A 


which were the two sides of it ; and, as it was 
perfectly round, she found this a very difficult 
question. However, at last she stretched her 
arms round it' as far as they would go, and broke 
off a bit of the edge with each hand. 

“ And now which is which ? ” she said to her- 
self, and nibbled a little of the right-hand bit to 
try the effect : the next moment she felt a violent 
blow underneath her chin; it had struck her 
foot! 

She was a good deal frightened by this very 
sudden change, but she felt that there was no 
time to be lost, as she was shrinking rapidly; so 
she set to work at once to eat some of the other 
bit. Her chin was pressed so closely against her 
foot, that there was hardly room to open her 
mouth ; but she did it at last, and managed to 
swallow a morsel of the left-hand bit. 


CATERPILLAR. 


69 


“ Come, my head’s free at last ! ” said Alice in 
a tone of delight, which changed -into alarm in 
another moment, when she found that her shoul- 
ders were nowhere to be found ; all she could 
see, when she lo'oked down, was an immense 
length of neck, which seemed to rise like a stalk 
out of a sea of green leaves that lay far below 
her. 

“ What ca7t all that green stuff be ? ” said 
Alice. “ And where Aave my shoulders got to ? 
And oh, my poor hands, how is it I can’t see 
you ? ” She was moving them about as she 
spoke, but no result seemed to follow, except a 
little shaking among the distant green leaves. 

As there seemed to be no chance of getting her 
hands up to her head, she tried to get her head 
down to them, and was delighted to find that her 
neck would bend about easily in any direction, 
like a serpent. She had just succeeded in curv- 
ing it down into a graceful zigzag, and was going 
to dive in among the leaves, which she found to 
be nothing but the tops of the trees under which 


70 


ARVICE FROM A 


she had been wandering, when a sharp hiss made 
her draw back in a hurry : a large pigeon had 
flown into her face, and was beating her violently 
with its wings. 

“ Serpent ! ” screamed the Pigeon. 

“ I’m not a serpent ! ” * said Alice indignantly. 
“ Let me alone ! ” 

“ Serpent, I say again ! ” repeated the Pigeon, 
but in a more subdued tone, and added with a 
kind of sob, “ I’ve tried every way, and nothing 
seems to suit them ! ” 

“ I haven’t the least idea what you’re talking 
about,” said Alice. 

“ I’ve tried the roots of trees, and I’ve tried 
banks, and I’ve tried hedges,” the Pigeon went 
on, without attending to her ; “ but those ser- 
pents ! There’s no pleasing them ! ” 

Alice was more and more puzzled, but she 
thought there was no use in saying anything 
more till the Pigeon had finished. 

“ As if it wasn’t trouble enough hatching the 
^ggs,” said the Pigeon, “ but I must be on 


CATERPILLAR. 


n 


the look-out for serpents night and day ! Why, 
I haven’t had a wink of sleep these three 
weeks ! ” . 

“ I’m very sorry you’ve been annoyed,” said 
Alice, who was beginning to see its meaning. 

“ And just as I’d taken the highest tree in 
the wood,” continued the Pigeon, raising its 
voice to a shriek, “ and just as I was thinking 
I should be free of them at last, they must needs 
come wriggling down from the sky! Ugh! 
Serpent 1 ” 

“ But I’m not a serpent, I tell you I ” said Alice, 
“ I’m a ^ I’m a ” 

“ Well I What are you ? ” said the Pigeon. 
“ I can see you’re trying to invent something! ” 

“ I — I’m a little girl,” said Alice, rather doubt- 
fully, as she remembered the number of changes 
she had gone through that day. 

“ A likely story indeed ! ” said the Pigeon in 
a tone of the deepest contempt. “ I’ve seen a 
good many little girls in my time, but never one 
with such a neck as that! No, no ! You’re a 


72 


ADVICE FROM A 


serpent: and there’s no use denying it. I sup- 
pose you’ll be telling me next time that you never 
tasted an egg ! ” 

“ I have tasted eggs, certainly,” said Alice, 
who was a very truthful child ; “ but little girls 
eat eggs quite as much as serpents do, you 
know.” 

I don’t believe it,” said the Pigeon ; “ but if 
they do, why then they’re a kind of serpent, that’s 
all I can say.” 

This was such a new idea to Alice, that she 
was quite silent for a minute or two, which gave 
the Pigeon the opportunity of adding, “ You’re 
looking for eggs, I know that well enough ; and 
what does it matter to me whether you’re a little 
girl or a serpent ? ” 

“ It matters a good deal to me'' said Alice 
hastily ; “ but I’m not looking for eggs, as it hap- 
pens ; and if I was, I shouldn’t want yours: I 
don’t like them raw.” 

‘‘Well, be off, then!” said the Pigeon in a 
sulky tone, as it settled down again into its 


CATERPILLAR. 


73 


nest. Alice crouched down among the trees as 
well as she could, for her neck kept getting 
entangled among the branches, and every now 
and then she had to stop and untwist it. After 
a while she remembered that she still held the 
pieces of mushroom in her hands, and she set 
to work very carefully, nibbling first at one 
and then at the other, and growing sometimes 
taller and sometimes shorter, until she had suc- 
ceeded in bringing herself down to her usual 
height. 

It was so long since she had been anything 
near the right size, that it felt quite strange 
at first, but she got used to it in a few minutes, 
‘and began talking to herself as usual. “ Come, 
there’s half my plan done now ! How puzzling 
all these changes are ! I’m never sure what I’m 
going to be, from one minute to another ! How- 
ever, I’ve got back to my right size: the next 
thing is to get into that beautiful garden — how is 
that to be done, I wonder?” As she said this, 
she came suddenly upon an open place, with a 



ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. 

t 


little house in it about four feet high, “ Who 
ever lives there,” thought Alice, it’ll never do to 


come upon them this size : why, I should frighten 
them out of their wits ! ” So she began nib- 
bling at the right-hand bit again, and did not ven- 


ture to go near the house till she had brought 
herself down to nine inches high. 


this 
morning 
I’ve 

nothing 
to do.’ 

Said the 
mouse to 
the cur, 

‘ Such a 
trial, 
dear sir, 

With no 
jury or 
judge 

would be 
wasting 

our breath 
‘ I’ll be 
judge. 

I’ll be 

Said 

cunning 

old Fury ; 

' ‘111 try 

the whole 
cause 
and 
condemn 
you 
to 

death.”* 


CHAPTER VI. 


PIG AND PEPPER. 

For a minute or two she stood looking at 
the house-, and wondering what to do next, 
when suddenly a footman in livery came run- 
ning out of the wood — (she considered him to 
be a footman because he was in livery : other- 
wise, judging by his face only, she would have 
called him a fish) — and rapped loudly at the 
door with his knuckles. It was opened by 
another footman in livery, with a round face 
and large eyes like a frog; and both footmen, 
j Alice noticed, had powdered hair that curled 

? all over their heads. She felt very curious 

IN 


76 


PIG AND PEPPER. 



to know what it was all about, and crept a little 
way out of the wood to listen. 

The Fish-Footman began by producing from 
under his arm a great letter, nearly as large 
as himself, and this he handed over to the 
other, saying in a solemn tone, “ For the Duch- 
ess. An invitation from the Queen to play 


PIG AND PEPPER. 


77 


croquet.” The Frog-Footman repeated, in the 
same solemn tone, only changing the order of 
the words a little, “ From the Queen. An invi- 
tation for the Duchess, to play croquet.” 

Then they both bowed low, and their curls 
got entangled together. 

Alice laughed so much at this that she had 
to run back into the wood for fear of their 
hearing her, and when she next peeped out the 
Fish-Footman was gone, and the other was sit- 
ting on the ground near the door, staring stupidly 
up into the sky. 

Alice went timidly up to the door and 
knocked. 

“ There’s no sort of use in knocking,” said 
the Footman, “ and that for two reasons. First, 
because I’m on the same side of the door as you 
are ; secondly, because they’re making such a 
noise inside, no one could possibly hear you.” 
And certainly there was a most extraordinary 
noise going on within — a constant howling 
and sneezing, and every now and then a great 


78 PIG AND PEPPER. 

crash, as if a dish or kettle had been broken to 
pieces. 

“ Please, then,” said Alice, “ how am I to get 
in.;^” 

\ 

“ There might be some sense in your knock- 
• ing,” the Footman went on without attending 
to her, “if we had the door between us. For 
instance, if you were inside, you might knock, 
and I could let you out, you know.’’ He was 
looking up into the sky all the time he was 
speaking, and this Alice thought decidedly 
uncivil. “ But perhaps he can’t help it,” she 
said to herself ; “ his eyes are so very nearly at 
the top of his head. But at any rate he might 
answer questions — How am I to get in ? ” she 
repeated, aloud. 

“ I shall sit here,” the Footman remarked, “ till 
to-morrow ” 

At this moment the door of the house 
opened, and a large plate came skimming out, 
straight at the Footman’s head: it just grazed 
his nose, and broke to pieces against one of the 
trees behind him. 


PIG AND PEPPER. 


79 


“ or next day, maybe,” the Footman con- 

tinued in the same tone, exactly as if nothing had 
happened. 

“ How am I to get in ? ” Alice asked again in a 
louder tone. 

“ Are you to get in at all } said the 
Footman. That's the first question, you 
know.” 

It was, no doubt : only Alice did not like to be 
told so. “ It's really dreadful,” she muttered 
to herself, “ the way all the creatures argue. It's 
enough to drive one crazy ! ” 

The Footman seemed to think this a good op- 
portunity for repeating his remark, with varia- 
tions. “ I shall sit here,” he said, “ on and off for 
days and days.” 

“ But what am / to do } ” said Alice. 

“ Anything you like,” said the Footman, and 
began whistling. • 

“ Oh, there’s no use in talking to him,” said 
Alice desperately : “ he’s perfectly idiotic ! ” And 
she opened the door and went in. 


8o 


PIG AND PEPPER. 



The door led right into a large kitchen, which 
was full of smoke from one end to the other ; 
the Duchess was sitting on a three-legged stool 
in the middle, nursing a baby ; the cook was 
leaning over the fire, stirring a large cauldron 
which seemed to be full of soup. 

“ There’s certainly too much pepper in that 
soup ! ” Alice said to herself, as well as she could 
for sneezing. 


PIG AND PEPPER. 


8l 


There was certainly too much of it in the 
air. Even the Duchess sneezed occasionally ; 
and as for the baby, it was ^ sneezing and howl- 
ing alternately without a moment’s pause. The 
only two creatures in the kitchen that did not 
sneeze, were the cook, and a large cat which 
was sitting on the hearth and grinning from ear 
to ear. 

“ Please, would you tell me,” said Alice, a little 
timidly, for she was not quite sure whether it was 
good manners for her to speak first, “ why your 
cat grins like that ? ” 

“ It’s a Cheshire cat,” said the Duchess, “ and 
that’s why. Pig ! ” 

She said the last word with such sudden vio- 
lence that Alice quite jumped ; but she saw in 
another moment that it was addressed to the 
baby, and not to her, so she took courage, and 
went on again : — 

“ I didn’t know that Cheshire cats always 
grinned ; in fact, I didn’t know that cats cou/d 
grin.” 


82 


PIG AND PEPPER. 


“ They all can,” said the Duchess ; “ and most 
of ’em do.” ■ 

“ I don’t know of *any that do,” Alice said very 
politely, feeling quite pleased to have got into a 
conversation. 

“ You don’t know much,” said the Duchess ; 
“ and that’s a fact.” 

Alice did not at all like the tone of this 
remark, and thought it would be as well to 
introduce some other subject of conversation. 

While she was trying to fix on one, the cook 

. ✓ 

took the cauldron of soup off the fire, and at 
once set to work throwing everything within 
• her reach at the Duchess and the baby — the 
fire-irons came first ; then followed a shower 
of saucepans, plates, and dishes. The Duchess 
took no notice of them even when they hit her ; 
and the baby was howling so much already, that 
it was quite impossible to say whether the blows 
hurt it or not. 

“ Oh, please mind what you’re doing ! ” cried 
Alice, jumping up and down in an agony of 


PIG AND PEPPER. 


33 


terror. “ Gh, there goes his precious nose ! ” as 
an unusually large saucepan flew close by it, and 
very nearly carried it off. 

“ If everybody minded their own business,” 
said the Duchess in a hoarse growl, “ the world 
would go round a deal faster than it does.” 

“ Which would not be an advantage,” said 
Alice, who felt very glad to get an opportunity 
of showing off a little of her knowledge. “Just 
think what work it would make with the day and 
night! You see the earth takes twenty-four 

hours to turn round on its axis ” 

“ Talking of axes,” said the Duchess, “ chop off 
her head ! ” 

Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook, to 
see if she meant to take the hint ; but the cook 
was busily stirring the soup, and seemed not to 
be listening, so she went on again : “ Twenty- 

four hours, I thifik ; or is it twelve } I ” 

“ Oh, don’t bother me'' said the Duchess ; “ I 
'* could abide figures.” And with that she 
dng her child again, singing a sort of 


84 


PIG AND PEPPER. 


lullaby to it as she did so, and giving it a violent 
shake at the end of every line : — 

“ Speak roughly to yottr little boy. 

And beat hhn when he sneezes ; 

He only does it to annoy ^ 

Because he knows it teasesP 

CHORUS. 

(in which the cook and the baby joined): — 

“ Wow ! zvow ! wow ” 

While the Duchess sang the second verse of 
the song, she kept tossing the baby violently up 
and down, and the poor little thing howled so, ' 
that Alice could hardly hear the words : 

I speak severely to my boy^ 

I beat him when he sneezes ; 

For he can thoroughly enjoy 

The pepper when he pleases ! ” . 

CHORUS. 


Wow ! wow ! wow ! 


PIG AND PEPPER. 


85 


“ Here! you may nurse it a bit, if you like! ” 
said the Duchess to Alice, flinging the baby at 
her as she spoke. “ I must go and get ready to 
play croquet with the Queen,” and she hurried 
out of the room. The cook threw a fryingpan 
after her as she went, but it just missed her. 

Alice caught the baby with some difliculty, 
as it was a queer-shaped little creature, and held 
out its arms and legs in all directions, “just like 
a star-fish,” thought Alice. The poor little thing 
was snorting like a steam-engine when she caught 
it, and kept doubling itself up and straightening 
itself out again, so that altogether, for the first 
minute or two, it was as much as she could do to 
hold it. 

As soon as she had made out the proper way 
of nursing,, it, (which was to twist it up into a 
sort of knot, and then keep tight hold of its 
right ear and left foot, so as to prevent its un- 
doing itself), she carried it out into the open air. 
“ If I don’t take this child away with me,” 
thought Alice, “ they’re sure to kill it in a day 


86 


PIG AND PEPPER. 


or two : wouldn’t it be murder to leave it be- 
hind ? ” She said the last words out loud, and 
the little thing grunted in reply (it had left off 
sneezing by this time.) “ Don’t grunt,” said 
Alice : “ that’s not at all a proper way of ex- 
pressing yourself.” 

The baby grunted again, and Alice looked 
very anxiously into its face to see what was the 
matter with it. There could be no doubt that 
it had a very turn-up nose, much more like a 
snout than a real nose : also its eyes were 
getting extremely small, for a baby : altogether 
Alice did not like the look of the thing at all, 
“ — but perhaps it was only sobbing,” she thought, 
and looked into its eyes again, to see if there 
were any tears. 

No, there were no tears. “ If you’re going to 
turn into a pig, my dear,” said Alice, seriously, 
“ ni have nothing more to do with you. Mind 
now ! ” The poor little thing sobbed again, (or 
grunted, it was impossible to say which), and 
they went on for some while in silence. 


PIG AND PEPER. 


87 


Alice was just beginning to think to herself, 
“ Now, what am I to do with this creature 
when I get it home ? when it grunted again, 

so violently, that she 
looked down into its 
face in some alarm. 
This time there could 
be no mistake about 
it : it was neither 
more nor less than 

a pig, and she felt 
that it would be 
quite absurd for her 
to carry it any fur- 
ther. 

So she set the 
little creature down, and felt quite relieved to 
see it trot away quietly into the wood. “ If 
it had grown up,” she said to herself, “ it would 
have been a dreadfully ugly child : but it makes 
rather a handsome pig, I think.” And she be- 
gan thinking over other children she knew, who 



88 


PIG AND PEPPER. 


might do very well as pigs, and was just saying 
to herself, “ if one only knew the right way to 

change them when she was a little startled 

by seeing the Cheshire Cat sitting on a bough of 
a tree a few yards c£f. 

The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice. It 
looked goodnatured, she thought : still it had very 
long claws and a great many teeth, so she felt it 
ought to be treated with respect. 

“ Cheshire Puss,” she began, rather timidly, as 
she did not know at all whether it would like the 
name : however, it only grinned a little wider. 
“ Come, it’s pleased so far,” thought Alice, and 
she went on, “ Would you tell me, please, which 
way I ought to walk from here 1 ” 

“ That depends a good deal on where^you want 
to get to,” said the Cat. 

“ I don’t much care where ” said Alice. 

“ Then it doesn’t matter which way you walk,” 
said the Cat. 

“ so long as I get somewherel' Alice added 

as an explanation. 


PIG AND PEPPER. 89 

“ Oh, you’re sure to do that,” said the Cat, “ if 
you only walk long enough.” 

Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she 
tried another question. “ What sort of people 
live about here ? ” 

“ In direction,” the Cat said, waving its 
right paw round, “ lives a Hatter : and in 
direction,” waving the other paw, “ lives a March 
Hare. Visit either you like : they’re both mad.” 

“ But I don’t want to go among mad people,” 
Alice remarked. 

“ Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat : “ we’re 
all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.” 

“ How do you know I’m mad ? ” said Alice. 

“ You must be,” said the Cat, “ or you wouldn’t 
have come here.” 

Alice didn’t think that proved it at all ; how- 
ever she went on : “ and how do you know that 
you’re mad ? ” 

“To begin with,” said the Cat, “ a dog’s not 
mad. You grant that } ” 

“ I suppose so,” said Alice. 


90 


PIG AND PEPPER. 




“ Well, then,” the Cat 
went on, “ you see a dog 
growls when it’s angry, 
and wags its tail when it’s 
pleased. Now /growl when 
I’m pleased, and wag my 
tail when I’m angry. 
Therefore Fm mad.” 

“ I call it purring, not 
growling,” said Alice. 


“ Call it what you like,” said the Cat. “ Do you 
play croquet with the Queen to-day 1 ” 


PIG AND PEPPER. 


91 


“ I should like it very much,” said Alice, “ but 
I haven’t been invited yet.^’ 

“ You’ll see me there,” said the Cat, and van- 
ished. 

Alice was not much surprised at this, she 
was getting so well used to queer things hap- 
pening. While she' was still looking at the 
place where it had been, it suddenly appeared 
again. 

“ By-th e-bye, what became of the baby ? ” said 
the Cat. “ I’d nearly forgotten to ask.” 

“It turned into a. pig,” Alice answered very 
quietly, just as- if the Cat had come back in a 
natural way. 

“ I thought it would,” said the Cat, and van- 
ished again. 

Alice waited a little, half expecting to see it 
again, but it did not appear, and after a minute 
or two she walked on in the direction in which 
the March Hare was said to live. “ I’ve seen 
hatters before,” she said to herself : “ the March 
Hare will be much the most interesting, and 


92 


PIG AND PEPPER. 



perhaps as this is May it won’t be raving mad — 
at least not so mad as it was in March. As she 
said this, she looked up, and there was the Cat 
again, sitting on a branch of a tree. 

“ Did you say pig, or fig ? ” said the Cat. 

' I said pig,” replied Alice ; and I wish you 
wouldn’t keep appearing and vanishing so sud- 
denly: you make one quite giddy.” 

“ All right,” said the Cat ; and this time it van- 
ished quite slowly, beginning with the end of the 
tail, and ending with the grin, which remained 
some time after the rest of it had gone. 




PIG AND PEPPER. 


93 


“ Well ! I’ve often seen a cat without a grin,” 
thought Alice ; “ but a grin without a cat ! 
It’s the most curious thing I ever saw in all my 
life!” 

She had not gone much farther before she 
came in sight of the house of the March Hare : 
she thought it must be the right house, because 
the chimneys were shaped like ears and the roof 
was thatched with fur. It was so large a house, 
that she did not like to go nearer till she had 
nibbled some more of the left-hand bit of mush- 
room, and raised herself to about two feet high : 
even then she walked up towards it rather timidly, 
saying to herself, “ Suppose it should be raving 
mad after all 1 I almost wish I’d gone to see the 
Hatter instead I ” 


CHAPTER VIL 


A MAD TEA-PARTY. 

There was a table set out under a tree in front 
of the house, and the March Hare and the Hatter 
were having tea at it: a Dormouse was sitting 
between them, fast asleep, and the other two were 
using it as a cushion, resting their elbows on it, 
and talking over its head. “ Very uncomfortable 
for the Dormouse,” thought Alice; “only, as it’s 
asleep, I suppose it doesn’t mind.” 

The table was a large one, but the three were 
all crowded together at one corner of it : 
“ No room ! No room ! ” they cried out when 
they saw Alice coming. “ There’s plenty of 


A MAD TEA-PARTY. 


95 


room ! ” said Alice indignantly, and she sat down 
in a large arm-chair at one end of the table. 

“ Have some wine,” the March Hare said in an 
encouraging tone. 

Alice looked all round the table, but there was 
nothing on it but tea. “ I don’t see any wine,” 
she remarked. 

“ There isn’t any,” said the March Hare. 

“ Then it wasn’t very civil of you to offer it,” 
said Alice angrily. 

It wasn’t very civil of you to sit down with- 
out being invited,” said the March Hare. 

“ I didn’t know it was your table,” said 
Alk:e ; “ it’s laid for a great many more than 
three. 

“ Your hair wants cutting,” said the Hatter. 
He had been looking at Alice for some time 
with great curiosity, and this was his first 
speech. 

“ You should learn not to make personal re- 
marks,” Alice said with some severity : “ it’s very 
rude. 


96 


A MAD TEA-PARTY. 



The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hear- 
ing this ; but all he said was, “ Why is a raven 
like a writing-desk ? ” 

“ Come, we shall have some fun now I ” thought 
Alice. “ I’m glad they’ve begun asking rid- 
dles — I believe I can guess that,” she added 
aloud. 

“ Do you mean that you think you can find out 
the answer to it ” said the March Hare. 

Exactly so,” said Alice. 


A MAD TEA-PARTY. 


97 


“ Then you should say what you mean,’^ the 
March Hare went on. 

“ I do,” Alice hastily replied ; “ at least — at 
least I mean what I say — that’s the same thing, 
you know.” 

Not the same thing a bit! ” said the Hatter. 
“ Why, you might just as well say that ‘ I see 
what I eat ’ is the same thing as ‘ I eat what I 
see ’ 1 ” 

“You might just as well say,” added the March 
Hare, “ that ‘ I like what I get ’ is the same thing 
as ‘ I get what I like ’ 1 ” 

“You might just as well say,” added the Dor- 
mouse, who seemed to be talking in his sleep, 
“ that ‘ I breathe when I sleep ’ is the same thing 
as ‘ I sleep when I breathe ’ ! ” 

“ It is the same thing with you,” said the 
Hatter, and here the conversation dropped, and 
the party sat silent for a minute, while Alice 
thought over all she could remember about ravens 
and writing desks, which wasn’t much. 

The Hatter was the first to break the silence. 


98 


A MAD TEA-PARTY. 


“ What day of the month is it ? ” he said, turn- 
ing to Alice : he had taken his watch out of his 
pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking 
it every now and then, and holding it to his 
ear. 

Alice considered a little, and said, “ The 
fourth.” 

“Two days wrong !” sighed the Hatter. “I 
told you butter wouldn’t suit the works ! ” he 
added, looking angrily at the March Hare. 

“ It was the des^ butter,” the March Hare 
meekly replied. 

“ Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as 
well,” the. Hatter grumbled : “ you shouldn’t have 
put it in with the bread-knife.” 

The March Hare took the watch and looked 
at it gloomily : then he dipped it into his cup of 
tea, and looked at it again : but he could think 
of nothing better to say than his first remark, 
“It was the desif butter, you know.” 

Alice had been looking over his shoulder with 
some curiosity. “What a funny watch!” she 


A MAD TEA-PARTY. 


99 


remarked. “ It tells the day of the month, and 
doesn’t tell what o’clock it is ! ” 

'‘Why should it?” muttered the Hatter. 
“ Does jyour watch tell you what year it is ? ” 

“ Of course not,” Alice replied very readily : 

but that’s because it stays the same year for 
such a long time together.” 

“ Which is just the case with mine"' said the 
Hatter. 

Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter’s 
remark seemed to her to have no sort of meaning 
in it, and yet it was certainly English. “ I don’t 
quite understand you,” she said, as politely as she 
could. 

“ The Dormouse is asleep again,” said the 
Hatter, and he poured a little hot tea on to its 
nose. 

The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, 
and said without opening its eyes, “ Of course; 
of course ; just what I was going to remark my- 
self.” 

“ Have you guessed the riddle yet ? ” the 
Hatter said, turning to Alice again. 


lOO 


A MAD TEA-PARTY. 


“No, I give it up,” Alice replied : “ what’s the 
answer ? ” 

“ I haven’t the slightest idea,” said the 
Hatter. 

“ Nor I,” said the March Hare. 

Alice sighed wearily. I think you might 
do something better with the time,” she said, 
“ than wasting it in asking riddles that have no 
answers.” 

“ If you knew Time as well as I do,” said 
the Hatter, you wouldn’t talk about wasting it. 
It’s himi' 

“ I don’t know what you mean,” said Alice. 

“ Of course you don’t ! ” the Hatter said, toss- 
ing his head contemptuously. “ I dare say you 
never even spoke to Time ! ” 

“ Perhaps not,” Alice cautiously replied : “ but 
I know I have to beat time when I learn 
music ! ” 

“Ah! that accounts for it,” said the Hatter. 
“ He won’t stand beating. Now, if you only 
kept on good terms with him, he’d do almost 


A MAD TEA-PARTY. 


lOI 


anything you liked with the clock. For in- 
stance, suppose it were nine o’clock in the morn- 
ing, just time to begin lessons : you’d only have 
to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the 
clock in a twinkling ! Half-past one, time for 
dinner! ” 

(“ I only wish it was,” the March Hare said to 
itself in a whisper.) 

“ That would be grand, certainly,” said Alice 
thoughtfully: “ but then — I shouldn’t be hungry 
for it, you know.” 

“ Not at first, perhaps,” said the Hatter : “ but 
you could keep it to half-past one as long as 
you liked.” 

“ Is that the way you manage ? ” Alice 
asked. 

The Hatter shook his head mournfully. “ Not 

I” he replied. “We quarrelled last March 

just before went mad, you know ” (point- 
ing with his teaspoon at the March Hare,) “ 

it was at the great concert given by the Queen 
of Hearts, and I had to sing.” 


102 


A MAD TEA-PARTY. 



‘ Twinkle^ twinkle^ little bat / 

How I wonder what you're at / ’ 

You know the song perhaps ? ” 

“ I’ve heard something like it,” said Alice. 

“ It goes on, you know,” the Hatter continued, 
“ in this way : — 

* Up above the world you flyy 
Like a teatray in the sky. 

Twinkle y twinkl e - -^ ■ 


A MAD TEA-PARTY. 


103 


Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began 
singing in its sleep, “ Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, 

twinkle ” and went on so long that they had 

to pinch it to rriake it stop. 

“ Well, I’d hardly finished the first verse,” said 
the Hatter, “ when the Queen bawled out ‘ He’s 
murdering the time ! Off with his head ! ’ ” 

“ How dreadfully savage !” exclaimed Alice. 

“ And ever since that,” the Hatter went on in 
a mournful tone, “ he won’t do a thing I ask ! 
It’s always six o’clock now.” 

A bright idea came into Alice’s head. “Is 
that the reason so many tea-things are put out 
here } ” she asked. 

“ Yes, that’s it,” said the Hatter with a sigh: 
“ it’s always tea-time, and we’ve no time to wash 
the things between whiles.” 

“ Then you keep moving round, I suppose ? ” 
said Alice. 

“ Exactly so,” said the Hatter : “ as the things 
get used up.” 

'i^ut when you come to the beginning again ? ” 
Alice ventured to ask. 


104 


A MAD TEA-PARTY. 


“ Suppose we change the subject,’’ the March 
Hare interrupted, yawning. “ I’m getting tired 
of this. I vote the young lady tells us a 
story. 

I’m afraid I don’t know ^one,” said Alice, 
rather alarmed at the proposal. 

“ Then the Dormouse shall ! ” they both cried. 
“ Wake up. Dormouse ! ” And they pinched it 
on both sides at once. 

The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. “ I 
wasn’t asleep,” he said in a hoarse, feeble voice : 
“ I heard every word you fellows were say- 
ing.” 

“ Tell us a story ! ” said the March Hare. 

“Yes, please do! ” pleaded Alice. 

“ And be quick about it,” added the Hatter, 
“ or you’ll be asleep again before it’s done.” 

“ Once upon a time there were three little 
sisters,” the Dormouse began in a great hurry ; 
“ and their names were Elsie, Lacie, and Tillie ; 
and they lived at the bottom of a well ” 

“ What did they live on } ” said Alice, wHb al- 


A MAD TEA-PARTY. 


105 


ways took a great interest in questions of eating 
and drinking. 

“ They lived on treacle,” said the Dormouse, 
after thinking a minute or two. 

“ They couldn’t have done that you know,” 
Alice gently remarked : “ they’d have been ill.” 

“ So they were,” said the Dormouse ; “ very ill.'" 

Alice tried a little to fancy to herself what 
such an extraordinary way of living would be 
like, but it puzzled her too much, so she went 
on : “ But why did they live at the bottom of a 
well ” 

“ Take some more tea,” the March Hare said 
to Alice, very earnestly. 

“ I’ve had nothing yet,” Alice replied in an 
offended tone, “ so I can’t take more.” 

“ You mean, you can’t take less',^ said the 
Hatter : “ it’s very easy to take more than 

nothing.” 

“ Nobody asked opinion,” said Alice. 

“ Who’s making personal remarks now ? ” the 
H^^ter asked triumphantly. 


io6 


A MAD TEA-PARTY. 


Alice did not quite know what to say to this: 
so she helped herself to some tea and bread-and- 
butter, and then turned to the Dormouse, and re- 
peated her question. “ Why did they live at the 
bottom of a well ? ” 

The Dormouse again took a minute or two to 
think about it, and then said, “It was a treacle- 
well.” 

“ There’s no such thing 1 ” Alice was beginning 
very angrily, but the Hatter and the March Hare 
went “ Sh ! sh ! ” and the Dormouse sulkily re- 
marked, “ If you can’t be civil, you’d better finish 
the story for yourself.” 

“ No, please go on ! ” Alice said very humbly: 
“ I won’t interrupt you again. I dare say there 
may be one.'^ 

“ One, indeed ! ’’said the Dormouse indignantly. 
However, he consented to go on. “ And so these 
three little sisters — they were learning to draw, 
you know ” 

“ What did they draw ? ” said Alice, quite for' 
getting her promise. ® 


A MAD TEA-PARTY. 


107 


“ Treacle,” said the Dormouse, without con- 
sidering at all this time. 

“ I Avant a clean cup,” interrupted the Hatter : 
“ let’s all move one place on.” 

He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse 
followed him : the March Hare moved into the 
Dormouse’s place, and Alice rather unwillingly 
took the place of the March Hare. The Hatter 
was the only one who got any advantage from 
the change : and Alice was a good deal worse off 
than before, as the March Hare had just upset 
the milk-jug into his plate. 

Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse 
again, so she began very cautiously ; “But I 
don’t understand. Where did they draw the 
treacle from } ” 

“ You can draw water out of a water-well,” ^aid 
the Hatter ; “ so I should think you could draw 
treacle out of a treacle-well — eh, stupid.? ” 

“ But they were in the well,” Alice said to the 
Dormouse, not choosing to notice this last re- 
mark. ; 


io8 


A MAD TEA'PARTY. 


“ Of course they were,’’ said the Dormouse, — 
“ well in.” 

This answer so confused poor Alice, that she 
let the Dormouse go on for some time without 
interrupting it. 

“ They were learning to draw,” the Dormouse 
went on, yawning and rubbing its eyes, for it 
was getting very sleepy ; “ and they drew all 
manner of things — everything that begins with 
an M ” 

“ Why with an M ? ” said Alice. 

“ Why not.? ” said the March Hare. 

Alice was silent. 

The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this 
time, and was going off into a dose, but, on 
being pinched by the Hatter, it woke up again 

with a little shriek, and went on : “ that 

begins with an M, such as mousetraps, and the 
moon, and memory, and muchness — you know 
you say things are ‘ much of a muchness ’ — jdid 
you ever see such a thing as a drawing of a 
muchness .? ” 


A MAD TEA-PARTY. 


109 


“ Really,^ now you ask me,” said Alice, very 

much confused, “ I don’t think ” 

“ Then you shouldn’t talk,” said the Hatter. 



This piece of rudeness was more than Alice 
could bear : she got up in great disgust, and 
walked off : the Dormouse fell asleep instantly, 
and neither of the others took the least notice of 
her going, though she looked back once or twice, 
half hoping that they would call after her: the 
last time she saw them, they were trying to put 
the Dormouse into the teapot. . 


no 


A MAD TEA-PARTY. 


“ At any rate I’ll never go there again ! ” said 
Alice as she picked her way through the wood. 

“ It’s the stupidest tea-party I ever was at in all 
my life ! ” 

Just as she said this, she noticed that one of 
the trees had a door leading right into it. 
“ That’s very curious ! ” she thought. “ But 
everything’s curious to-day. I think I may as 
well go in at once.” And in she went. 

Once more she found herself in the long, hall, 
and closa to the little glass table. “ Now, I’ll 
manage better this time,” she said to herself, 
and began by taking the little golden key, and 
unlocking the door that led into the garden. 
Then she set to work nibbling at the mushroom 
(she had kept a piece of it in her pocket) till she 
was about a foot high : then she walked down the 
little passage: and then — she found herself at last 
in the beautiful garden, among the bright flower- 
beds and the cool fountains. 


CHAPTER VIII. 


THE queen's croquet-ground. 

A LARGE rose-tree stood near the entrance of 
the garden : the roses growing on it were white, 
but there were three gardeners at it, busily paint- 
ing them red. Alice thought this a very curious 
thing, and she went nearer to watch them, and 
just as she came up to them she heard one of 
them say, “ Look^ out now. Five ! Don’t go 
splashing paint over me like that ! ” 

“ I couldn’t help it,” said Five in a sulky tone ; 
“ Seven jogged my elbow.” 

On which Seven looked up and said, “ That’s 
right, Five ! Always lay the blame on others 1 ” 


II2 


THE queen’s 


“ Youd better not talk ! ” said Five. “ I heard 
the Queen say only yesterday you deserved to be 
beheaded ! ” 

“What for.?^’ 
said the one who 
had spoken first. 

“ That’s none 
of your business, 
Two ! ” said Seven. 

“ Yes, it is his 
business ! said 
Five, and I’ll tell 
him — it was for 
bringing the cook 
tulip-roots instead 
of onions.” 

Seven flung down his bru^h, and had just be- 
gun, “ Well, of all the unjust things — ” when his 
eye chanced to fall upon Alice, as she stood 
watching them, and he checked himself suddenly : 
the others looked round also, and all of them 
bowed low. 



CROQUET-GROUND. 


II3 

“ Would you tell me, please,” said Alice, a 
little timidly, “ why you are painting those 
roses ? 

Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at 
Two. Two began, in a low voice, “ Why, the 
fact is, you see. Miss, this here ought to have 
been a red rose-tree, and we put a white one 
in by mistake, and if the Queen was to find it 
out, 4ve should all have our heads cut off, you 
know. So you see. Miss, we’re doing our best, 
afore she comes, to — ” At this moment Five, 
who had been anxiously looking across the gar- 
den, called out “ The Queen ! The Queen ! ” and 
the three gardeners instantly threw themselves 
flat upon their faces. There was a sound of 
many footsteps, and Alice looked round, eager 
to see the Queen. 

First came ten soldiers carrying clubs ; these 
were all shaped like the three gardeners, oblong 
and flat, with their hands and feet at the cor- 
ners ; next the ten courtiers ; these were orna- 
mented all over with diamonds, and walked two 


THE queen’s 


II4 

and two, as the soldiers did. After these came 
the royal children ; there were ten of them, 
and the little dears came jumping merrily along 
hand in hand, in couples : they were all orna- 
mented with hearts. Next came the guests, 
mostly Kings and Queens, and among them 
Alice recognized the White Rabbit : it was talk- 
ing in a hurried nervous manner, smiling at 
everything that was said, and went by without 
noticing her. Then followed the Knave of 
Hearts, carrying the King’s crown on a crimson 
velvet cushion ; and, last of all this grand pro- 
cession, came THE KING AND QUEEN OF 
HEARTS. 

Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought 
not to lie down on her face like the three gar- 
deners, but she could not remember ever having 
heard of such a rule at processions ; “ and besides, 
what would be the use of a procession,” she 
thought, “ if people had all to lie down on their 
faces, so that they couldn’t see it ? ” So she stood - 
where she was, and waited. 


CROQUET-GROUND. 


II5 

When the procession came opposite to Alice, 
j they all stopped and looked at her, and the 
Queen said severely, “ Who is this?” She said 
it to the Knave of Hearts, who only bowed and 
smiled in reply. 

“ Idiot ! ” said the Queen, tossing her head im- 
patiently ; and, turning to Alice, she w^ent on, 
“ What’s your name, child ? ” 

“ My name is Alice, so please your Majesty,” 
said Alice very politely ; but she added, to her- 
self, “ Why, they’re only a pack of cards, after all. 
I needn’t be afraid of them ! ” 

“ And who are these? ” said the. Queen, point- 
ing to the three gardeners who were lying 
round the rose-tree; for you see as they were 
lying on their faces, and the pattern on their 
backs was the same as the rest of the, pack, 
she could not tell whether they were gardeners, 
or soldiers, or courtiers, or three of her own 
children. 

“ How should / know ? ” said Alice, surprised 
at her own courage. “ It’s no business of mine?' 


ii6 


THE queen’s 



The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, 
after glaring at her for a moment like a wild 
beast, began screaming, “ Off with her h^ad ! 
Off—” 


CROQUET-GROUND. 


1 17 

“ Nonsense ! ” said Alice, very loudly and de- 
cidedly, and the Queen was silent. 

The King laid his hand upon her arm, and 
timidly said, “ Consider, my dear : she is only 
a child ! " 

The Queen turned angrily away from him, and 
said to the Knave, “ Turn them over! ” 

The Knave did so, very carefully, with one 
foot. 

“ Get up I ” said the Queen in a shrill, loud 
voice, and the three gardeners instantly jumped 
up, and began bowing to the King, the Queen, 
the royal children, and everybody else. 

“ Leave off that I ” screamed the Queen. “ You 
make me giddy.” And then turning to the 
rose-tree, she went on, “ What have you been 
doing here ” 

“ May it please your Majesty,” said Two, in 
a very humble tone, going down on one knee as 
he spoke, “ we were trying — ” 

“ / see I ” said the Queen, who had mean- 
while been examining the roses. “ Off with 


.THE QUEEN’S 


ii8 

their heads ! ” and the procession moved on, 
three of the soldiers remaining behind to execute 
the unfortunate gardeners, who ran to Alice for 
protection. 

“You shan’t be beheaded!” said Alice, and 
she put them into a large flower-pot that stood 
near. The three soldiers wandered about for a 
minute or two, looking for them, and then quietly- 
marched off after the others. 

“ Are their heads off ? ” shouted the Queen. 

“ Their heads are gone, if it please your Ma- 
jesty ! ” the soldiers shouted in reply. 

“ That’s right 1 ” shouted the Queen. “ Can 
you play croquet ” 

The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, 
as the question was evidently meant for her. 

“Yes I ” shouted Alice. 

I 

“ Come on then ! ” roared the Queen, and Alice I 
joined the procession, wondering very much what 
would happen next. 

“ It’s — it’s a very fine day 1 ” said a timid voice 
at her side. She was walking by the White 


CROQUET GROUND. 


II9 

Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously into her 
face. 

“ Very,” said Alice: — “where’s the Duchess ” 
“ Hush 1 Hush ! ” said the Rabbit in a low, 
hurried tone. He looked anxiously over his 
shoulder as he spoke, and then raised himself 
upon tiptoe, put his mouth close to her ear, and 
whispered, “ She’s under sentence of execution.” 

“ What for ? ” said Alice. 

“ Did you say ‘ What a pity ! ’ ” the Rabbit 
asked. 

“ No, I didn’t,” said Alice : “ I don’t think it’s 
at all a pity. I said ‘ What for ? ’ ” 

“ She boxed the Queen’s ears — ” the Rabbit 
began. Alice gave a little scream of laughter. 
“ Oh, hush ! ” the Rabbit whispered in a frightened 
tone. “ The Queen will hear you! You see she 
came rather late, and the Queen said—” 

“ Get to your places ! ” shouted the queen in 
a voice of thunder, and people began running 
about in all directions, tumbling up against each 
other : however, they got settled down in a 
minute or two, and the game began. 


i20 


THE queen’s 



Alic^ thought she had never seen such a 
curious croquet-ground in her life : it was all 
ridges and furrows; the croquet-balls were live 
hedgehogs, and the mallets live flamingoes, and 
the soldiers had to 
dotible themselves up 
and stand on their 
hands and feet, to 
make the- arches. 

The chief diffi- 
culty Alice found at 
first was in managing 
her flamingo : she 
succeeded in getting 
its body tucked away, 
comfortably enough, 
under her arm, with 
its legs hanging down, but generally, just as she 
had got its neck nicely straightened out, and 
was going to give the hedgehog a blow with 
its head, it would twist itself round and look 
up into her face, with such a* puzzled expres- 


CROQUET-GROUND. 


I2I 


sion that she could not help bursting out laugh- 
ing : and when she had got its head down, and 
was going to begin again, it was very provoking 
to find that the hedgehog had unrolled itself, 
and was in the act of crawling away : besides 
all this, there was generally a ridge or a furrow 
in the way whenever she wanted < to send the 
hedgehog to, and, as the doubled-up soldiers were 
always getting up and walking off to other parts 
of the ground, Alice soon came to the conclusion 
that it was a very difficult game indeed. 

The players all played at once without wait- 
I ing for turns, quarrelling all the while, and 
fighting for the hedgehogs ] and in a very short 
time the Queen was in a furious passion, and 
went stamping about, and shouting, “ Off with 
his head ! ” or “ Off with her head ! ” about once 
in a minute. 

Alice began to feel very uneasy : to be sure, 
she had not as yet had any dispute with the 
Queen, but she kner^ that it might happen any 
minute, “ and then,” thought she, “ what would 


122 


THE queen’s 


become of me? They^*e dreadfully fond of be- 
heading people here : the great wonder is, that 
there’s any one left alive ! ” 

She was looking about for some way of escape, 
and wondering whether she could get away 
without being seen, when she noticed a curious 
appearance in the air : it puzzled her very much 
at first, but after watching it a minute or two she 
made it out to be a grin, and she said to herself, 
“ It’s the Cheshire Cat: now I shall* have some- 
body to talk to.” 

“ How are you getting on ? ” said the Cat, 
as soon as there was mouth enough for it to 
speak with. 

Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then 
nodded. “ It’s no use speaking to it,” she 
thought, “ till its ears have come, or at least 
one of them.” In another minute the whole 
head appeared, and then Alice put down her 
flamingo, and began an account of the game, 
I feeling very glad she had some one to listen to 
her. The Cat seemed to think that there was 


CROQUET GROUND. 


123 


enough of it now in sight, and no more of it 
appeared. 

“ I don’t think they play at all fairly,” Alice 
began, in rather a complaining tone, “ and they 
all quarrel so dreadfully one can’t hear one’s-self 
speak — and they don’t seem to have any rules 
in particular ; at least, if there are, nobody 
attends to them — and you’ve no idea how con- 
fusing it is all the things being alive; for in- 
stance, there’s the arch I’ve got to go through 
next walking about at the other end of the ground 
— and I should have croqueted the Queen’s 
hedgehog just now, only it ran away when it saw 
mine coming!” ^ 

“ How do you like the Queen } ” said the Cat in 
a low voice. 

“ Not at all,” said Alice : “ she’s so extreme- 
ly — ” Just then she noticed that the Queen 
was close behind her, listening : so she went on 
“ — likely to win, that it’s hardly worth while 
finishing the game.” 

The Queen smiled and passed on. 


124 


THE queen’s 



“ Who are you talking to ? ” said the King, 
coming up to Alice, and looking at the -Cat’s 
head with great curiosity. 

“ It’s a friend of mine — a Cheshire Cat,” said 
Alice: “allow me to introduce it.” 

“I don’t like the look of it at all,” said the 
King : “ however, it may kiss my hand if it 
likes.” 

“ I’d rather not,” the Cat remarked. 

“ Don’t be impertinent,” said the King, “ and 
don’t look at me like that ! ” He got behind 
Alice as he spoke. 

“ A cat may look at a king,” said Alice. “ I’ve 
read that in some book, but I don’t remember 
wher^.” 

“ Well, it must be removed,” said the King 
very decidedly, and he called to the Queen, who 
was passing at the moment, “ My dear ! I wish 
you would have this cat removed! ” 

The Queen had only one way of settling all 
difficulties, great or small. “ Off with his head I ” 
she said without even looking round. 


CROQUET-GROUND. 


125 


“ ril fetch the executioner myself,” said the 
King eagerly, and he hurried off. 

Alice thought she might as well go back and 
see how the game was going on, as she heard 
the Queen’s voice in the distance, screaming 
with passion. She had already heard her sen- 
tence three of the players to be executed for 
having missed their turns, and she did not like 
the look of things at all, as the game was in such 
confusion that she never knew whether it was 
her turn or not. So she went off in search of her 
hedgehog. 

The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with an- 
other hedgehog, which seemed to Alice an ex- 
cellent opportunity for croqueting one of them 
with the other : the only difficulty was, that her 
flamingo was gone across to the other side of 
the garden, where Alice could see it trying in a 
helpless sort of way to fly up into a tree. 

By the time she had caught the flamingo 
and brought it back, the fight was over, and 
both the hedgehogs were out of sight : “ but it 


126 


THE QUEEN’S' 


doesn’t matter much,” thought Alice, “ as all the 
arches are gone from this side of the ground.” 
So she tucked it away under her arm, that it 
might not escape again, and went back to have a 
little more conversation with her friend.. 

When she got back to the Cheshire Cat, she 
was surprised to find quite a large crowd col- 
lected round it : there was a dispute going on 
between the executioner, the King, and the 
Qiieen. who were all talking at once, while all 
the rest were quite silent, and looked very uncom- 
fortable. 

The moment Alice appeared, she was appealed 
to by all three to settle the question, and they 
repeated their arguments to her, though, as they 
all spoke at once, she found it very hard to make 
out exactly what they said. 

The executioner’s argument was, that you 
couldn’t cut off a head unless there was a body 
to cut it off from : that he had never had to do 
such a thing before, and he wasn’t going to begin 
at his time of life. ♦ 


CROQUET-GROUND. 


127 



The King’s argument was, that anything that 
had a head could be beheaded, and that you 
weren’t to talk nonsense. 

The Queen’s argument was, that if some- 
thing wasn’t done about it in less than no time, 
she’d have everybody executed, all round. (It 



128 


THE QUEENS'S CROQUET GROUND. 


was this last remark that had made the whole 
party look so grave and anxious.) 

Alice could think of nothing else to say but 
“ It belongs to the Duchess : you’d better ask 
her about it.” 

“ She’s in prison,” the Queen said to the exe- 
cutioner : “ fetch her here.” And the execu- 

tioner went off like an arrow. 

The Cat’s head began fading away the mo- 
ment he was gone, and, by the time he had come 
back with the Duchess, it had entirely disap- 
peared ; so the King and the executioner ran 
wildly up and down looking for it, while the rest 
of the party went back to the game. 


CHAPTER IX. 


TUB MOCK TURTLES STORY. 

‘You cant think how glad I am to see you 
again, you dear old thing 1 ” said the Duchess, as 
she tucked her arm affectionately into Alice’s, 
and they walked off together. 

Alice was very glad to find her in such a 
pleasant temper, and thought to herself that 
perhaps it was only the pepper that had m_ade 
her so savage when they met in the kitchen, 
“ When Pm a Duchess,” she said to herself, (not 
in a very hopeful tone though,) “ I won’t have 
any pepper in my kitchen at all. Soup does 


130 


THE MOCK 


very well, without — Maybe it’s always pepper 
that makes people hot-tempered,” she went on, 
very much pleased at having found out a new 
kind of rule, “ and vinegar that makes them 
sour — and camomile that makes them bitter — 
and — and barley-sugar and such things that 
make children sweet-tempered. I only wish peo- 
ple knew thoLt : then they wouldn’t be so stingy 
about it, you know — ” 

oiix. quite forgotten the Duchess by this 
time, and was a little startled when she heard 
her voice close to -her ear. “You’re thinking 
about something, my dear, and that makes you 
forget to talk. I can t tell you just now what 
the moral of that is, but I shall remember it in a 
bit.” 

“ Perhaps it hasn’t one,” Alice ventured to 
remark. 

T ut, tut, child ! said the Duchess. “ Every- 
thing’s got a moral, if only you can find it.” 
And she squeezed herself up closer to Alice’s 
side as she spoke. 


turtle’s story. 


I3I 

Alice did not much like her keeping so close 
to her : first, because the Duchess was very 
ugly, and secondly, because she was exactly the 
right height to 
rest her chin on 
Alice’s shoulder, 
and it was an 
uncomfortably 
sharp chin.. How- 
ever, she did not 
like to be rude, so 
she bore it as well 
as she could. 

“ The game’s go- 
ing on rather better 
now,” ‘she said by 
way of keeping up the conversation a little. 

“ ’Tis so,” said the Duchess : “ and the moral 
of that is — ‘ Oh, ’tis love, ’tis love, that makes 
the world go round ! ’ ” 

“ Somebody said,” Alice whispered, “ that it’s 
done by everybody minding their own business ! ” 



132 


THE MOCK 


“ Ah, well ! It means much the same thing, 
said the Duchess, digging her sharp little chin 
into Alice’s shoulder as she added, “ and the 
moral of that is — ‘ Take care of the sense, and 
the sounds will take care of themselves.’ ” 

“ How fond she is of finding morals in things ! " 
Alice thought to herself. 

“ I daresay you’re wondering why I don’t put 
put my arm round your waist,” said the Duchess 
after a pause : “ the reason is, that I’m doubtful 
about the temper of your flamingo. Shall I try 
the experiment 1 ” 

“ He might bite,” Alice cautiously replied, not 
feeling at all anxious to have the experiment 
tried. 

“Very true,” said the Duchess: “flamingoes 
and mustard both bite. And the moral of that 
is — ‘ Birds of a feather flock together.’ ” 

“ Only mustard is’nt a bird,” Alice remarked. 

“ Right, as usual,” said the Duchess : “ what a 
clear way you have of putting things ! ” 

“ It’s a mineral, I think',' said Alice. 


TURTLE’S STORY. 


133 


“ Of course it is,” said the Duchess, who seemed 
ready to agree to everything that Alice said; 

there’s a large mustard-m.ine near here. And 
the moral of that is — ‘ The more there is of mine, 
the less there is of yours.’ ” 

“ Oh, I know ! ” exclaimed Alice, who had not 
attended to this last remark, “ it’s a vegetable. 
It doesn’t look like one, but it is.” 

“ I quite agree with you,” said the Duchess, 
“ and the moral of that is — ‘ Be what you would 
seem to be ’ — or, if you’d like it put more simply 
— ‘ Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise 
than what it might appear to others that what 
you were or might have been was not otherwise 
than what you had been would have appeared to 
them to be otherwise.’ ” 

“ I think I should understand that better,” 
Alice said very politely, “ if I had it written 
down : but I can’t quite follow it as you say 

it" 

“ That’s nothing to what I could say if I 
chose,” the Duchess replied in a pleased tone. 


134 


THE MOCK 


“ Pray don’t trouble yourself to say it any 
longer than that,” said Alice. 

“Oh, don’t talk about trouble!” said the 
Duchess. “ I make you a present of everything 
Pve said as yet.” 

“ A cheap sort of present ! ” thought Alice. 
“ I’m glad they don’t give birthday presents like 
that!” But she did not venture to say it out 
loud. 

“ Thinking again ? ” the Duchess asked, with 
another dig of her sharp little chin. 

“ I’ve a right to think,” said Alice sharply, for 
she was beginning to feel a little worried. 

“Just about as much right,” said the Duchess, 
“ as pigs have to fly : and the m — ” 

But here, to Alice’s great surprise, the 
Duchess’ voice died away, even in the middle 
of her favorite word ‘ moral,’ and the arm that 
was linked into hers began to tremble. Alice 
looked up, and there stood the Queen in front of 
them, with her arms folded, frowning like a thun- 
derstorm. 


turtle’s story. 


135 


“ A fine day, your Majesty ! ” the Duchess be- 
gan in a low, weak voice. 

“ Now, I give you fair warning,” shouted the 
Queen, stamping on the ground as she spoke ; 
“ either you or your head must be off, and that in 
about half no time ! Take your choice ! 

The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in 
a moment. 

“ Let’s go on with the game,” the Queen said 
to Alice, and Alice was too much frightened to 
say a word, but slowly followed her back to the 
croquet-ground. 

The other guests had taken advantage of 
the Queen’s absence, and were resting in the 
shade : however, the moment they saw her, they 
hurried back to the game, the Queen merely re- 
marking that a moment’s delay would cost them 
their lives. 

All the time they were playing the Queen 
never left off quarrelling with the other players, 
and shouting “ Off with his head ! ” or “ Off 
with her head ! ” Those whom she sentenced 


THE MOCK 


136 

were taken into custody by the soldiers, who 
of course had to leave off being arches to do 
this, so that by the end of half an hour or so 
there were no arches left, and all the players, 
except the King, the Queen, and Alice, were in 
custody, and under sentence of execution. 

Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath, 
and said to Alice, “Have you seen the Mock 
Turtle yet 

“ No,” said Alice. “ I don^t even know what 
a Mock Turtle is.” 

“ It’s the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made 
from,” said the Queen. 

“ I never saw one, or heard of one,” said Alice. 

“ Come on, then,” said the Queen, “ and he 
shall tell you his history.” 

As they walked off together, Alice heard the 
King say in a low voice, to the company gener- 
ally, “ You are all pardoned.” “Come, that's^ 
good thing ! ” she said to herself, for she had 
felt quite unhappy at the number of executions 
the Queen had ordered. 


TURTLE S STORY. 


137 



They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying 
fast asleep in the sun. (If you don’t know what 
a Gryphon is, look at the picture.) “ Up, lazy 
thing!” said the Queen, “ and take this young 
lady to see the Mock Turtle, and to hear his 
histor}^ I must go back and see after some 
executions I have ordered;” and she walked off, 
leaving Alice alone with the Gryphon. Alice 
did not quite like the look of the creature, but 
on the whole she thought it would be quite as 


THE MOCK 


138 

safe to stay with it as to go after that savage 
Queen : so she waited, 

The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes : 
then it watched the Queen till she was out of 
sight : then it chuckled. “ What fun ! ” said the 
Gryphon, half to itself, half to Alice. 

“ What is the fun ? ” said Alice. 

“ Why, she,"' said the Gryphon “ It’s all her 
fancy, that : they never executes nobody, you 
know. Come on ! ” 

Everybody says ‘ come on ! ’ here,” thought 
Alice, as she went slowly after it: “I never was 
so ordered about before in all my life, never ! ” 

They had not gone far before they saw the 
Mock Turtle in the distance, sitting sad and 
lonely on a little ledge of rock, and, as they 
came nearer, Alice could hear him sighing as if 
his heart would break. She pitied him deeply. 
‘ What is his sorrow } ” she asked the Gryphon, 
and the Gryphon answered, very nearly in the 
same words as before, “ It’s all his fancy, that : 
he hasn’t got no sorrow, you know. Come on ! ” 


TURTLE’S STORY. 


139 


So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who 
looked at them with large eyes full of tears, but 
said nothing. 

“ This here young lady,” said the Gryphon, 
“ she wants for to know your history, she do.” 

“I’ll tell it her,” said the .Mock Turtle in a 
deep, hollow tone : “ sit down both of you, and 
don’t speak a word till I’ve finished.” 

So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some 
minutes. Alice thought to herself, “ I don’t see 
how he can ever finish, if he doesn’t begin.” But 
she waited patiently. 

“ Once,” said the Mock Turtle at last, with a 
deep sigh, “ I was a real Turtle.” 

These words were followed by a vef'y long 
silence, broken only by an occasional exclama- 
tion of “ Hjckrrh ! ” from the Gryphon, and the 
constant heavy sobbing of the Mock Turtle. 
Alice was very nearly getting up and saying, 
“ Thank you, sir, for your interesting story,” 
but she could not help thinking there must he 
more to come, so she sat still and said nothing. 


140 


THE MOCK 


“ When we were little,” the Mock .Turtle went 
on at last, more calmly, though still sobbing a 
a little now and then, “ we went to school in the 
sea. The master was afi old Turtle— we used to 
call him Tortoise — ” 



turtle’s* story. 


I4I 

“ Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn’t 
one ? ” Alice asked. 

“ We called him Tortoise because he taught 
us,” said the Mock Turtle angrily; “really you 
are .very dull ! ” 

“You ought to.be ashamed of yourself for 
asking such a simple question,” added the 
Gryphon ; and then they both sat silent and 
looked at poor Alice, who felt ready to sink 
into the earth. At last the Gryphon said to 
the Mock Turtle, “ Drive on, old fellow! Don’t 
be all day about it ! ” and he went on in these 
words. 

“Yes, we went to school in the sea, though 
you mayn’t believe it — ” 

“ I never said I didn’t 1 ” interrupted Alice 

“ You did,” said the Mock Turtle. 

“JHold your togue ! ” added the Gryphon, be- 
fore Alice could speak again. The Mock Turtle 
went on. 

“ We had the best of educations — in fact, we 
went to school every day — ’’ 


142 


THE MOCK 


“ Fve been to a day-school too,” said Alice, 
“ you need^’.t be so proud as all that.” 

“With extras?” asked the Mock Turtle a 
little anxiously. 

“Yes,” said Alice, “we learned French and 
music.” . 

“And washing?” said the Mock Turtle. 

“ Certainly not ? ” said Alice indignantly. 

“ Ah ! Then yours wasn’t a really good school,” 
said the Mock Turtle in a tone of great relief. 
“ Now at ours they had at the end of the bill, 
‘ French, music, and washing- — extra.’ ” 

‘‘ You couldn’t have wanted it much,” said 
Alice ; “ living at the bottom of the sea.” 

“ I couldn’t afford to learn it,” said the Mock 
Turtle with a sigh. “ I only took the regular 
course.” 

“ What was that ? ” enquired Alice. 

“ Reeling, and Writhing, of course, to begin 
with,” the Mock Turtle replied: “and then the 
different branches of Arithmetic — Ambition, Dis- 
traction, Uglification, and Derision.” 


TURTLE'S STORY. 


143 


“ I never heard of ‘ Uglification.’” Alice ven- 
tured to say. “ What is it ? ” 

The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in sur- 
prise. “ Never heard of uglifying ! it exclaimed 
“ You know what to beautify is, I suppose ? ” 

“ Yes,” said Alice, doubtfully: “it means — to 
— make — anything — prettier.” 

“Well then,” the Gryphon went on, “if you 
don’t know what to uglify is, you are a 
simpleton.” 

Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any 
more questions about it, so she turned to the 
Mock Turtle, and said, “What else had you to 
learn ? ” 

“ Well, there was Mystery,” the Mock Turtle 
replied, counting off the subjects on his flappers, 
“ Mystery, ancient and modern, with Seaography : 
then Drawling — the Drawling-master was an old 
conger-eel, that used to come once a week : ke 
taught us Drawling, Stretching, and Fainting in 
Coils.” 

“ What was like ? ” said Alice. 


144 


THE MOCK 


“ Well, I can’t show it you, myself,” the Mock 
Turtle said: “I’m too stiff. And the Gryphon 
never learnt it.” 

“ Hadn’t time,” said the Gryphon : “ I went to 
the Classical master, though. He was an old 
crab, he was.” 

“ I never went to him,” the Mock Turtle said 
with a sigh : “ he taught Laughing and Grief, 
they used to say.” 

“ So he did, so he did,” said the Gryphon, 
sighing in his turn, and both creatures hid their 
faces in their paws. 

“ And how many hours a day did you do 
lessons ” said Alice, in a hurry to change the 
subject. 

“ Ten hours the first day,” said the Mock 
Turtle: “nine the next, and so on.” 

“What a curious plan ! ” exclaimed Alice. 

“That’s the reason they’re called lessons,” the 
Gryphon remarked: “because they lessen from 
day to day.” 

This was quite a n«ew idea to Alice, and she 


TURTLE S STORY. 


145 


thought it over a little before she. made her next 
remark. “ Then the eleventh day must have been 
a holiday ? ” 

“ Of course it was/’ said the Mock Turtle. 

“ And how did you manage on the twelfth } ” 
Alice went on eagerly. 

“ That’s enough about lessons,” the Gryphon 
interrupted in a very decided tone: “tell her 
something about the games now.” 


CHAPTER X. 


THE LOBSTER QUADRILLE. 

The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and drew 
the back of one flapper across his eyes. He 
looked at Alice and tried to speak, but for a 
minute or two sobs choked his voice. “ Same as 
if he had a bone in his throat,” said the Gryphon, 
and it set to work shaking him and punch- 
ing him in the back. At last the Mock Turtle 
recovered his voice, and, with 'tears running 
down his cheeks, he went on again : 

“ You may not have lived much under the 
sea — ” (I haven’t,’' said Alice) — “ and perhaps 
you were never even introduced to a lobster — ” 


I 


THE LOBSTER QUADRILLE. 


147 


(Alice began to say “ I once tasted — ’’ but 
checked herself hastily, and said, “ No, never ”) — 
“ so you can have no idea what a delightful thing 
a Lobster-Quadrille is ! ” 

“ No, indeed,” said Alice. “ What sort of a 
dance is it ? ” 

“ Why,” said the Gryphon, “ you first form into 
a line along the seashore — ” 

“ Two lines!” cried the Mock Turtle. “ Seals, 
turtles, salmon, and so on : then when you’ve 
cleared all the jelly-fish out of the way — ” 

“ That generally takes some time,” interrupted 
the Gryphon. 

“ — you advance twice — ” 

“ Each with a lobster as a partner I ” cried the 
Gryphon. 

“ Of course,” the Mock Turtle said : “ advance 
twice, set to partners — ” 

“ — change lobsters, and retire in same order,” 
continued the Gryphon. 

“ Then, you know,” the Mock Turtle went on, 
“ you throw the — ” 


148 


THE LOBSTER 


“ The lobsters ! ” shouted the Gryphon, with a 
bound into the air. 

“ — as far out to sea as you can — 

“ Swim after them ! ” screamed the Gryphon. 

“Turn a somersault in the sea! ” cried the 
Mock Turtle, capering wildly about. 

“ Change lobsters again I ” yelled the Gryphon 
at the top of its voice. 

“ Back to land again, and — that’s all the first 
figure,” said the Mock Turtle, suddenly dropping 
his voice, and the two creatures, who had been 
jumping about like mad things all this time, sat 
down again very sadly and quietly, and looked at 
Alice. 

“ It must be a very pretty dance,” said Alice 
timidly. 

“ Would you like to see a little of it? ” said the 
Mock Turtle. 

“ Very much indeed,” said Alice. 

“ Come let’s try the first figure ! ” said the 
Mock Turtle to the Gryphon. “ We can do it 
without lobsters, you know. Which shall ‘sing ? ” 


QUADRILLE. 


149 



“ Oh, sing,” said the Gryphon. “I’ve for- 
gotten the words.” 

So they began solemnly dancing round and 
round Alice, every now and then treading on her 
toes when they passed too close, and waving their 
fore-paws to mark the time, while the Mock Turtle 
sang this, very slowly and sadly : — 



J50 


THE LOBSTER. 


“ Will you walk a little faster!'' said a whiting to a 
snail, 

“ Therms a porpoise close behmd us, a7id he's treading on 
my tail. 

See how eagerly the lobsters and the tuf'tles all adva7ice ! 

They are waiting on the shingle — will you come a7td 
jom the da7ice ? 

Will you, worit you, will you, wofUt you, will you 
join the dance ? 

Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, wonlt you 
jom the dance ? 

** You can really have no notion how delightful it will 
be 

When they take us up a7id throw us, with the lobsters, 
out to sea !" 

But the snail replied “ Too far, too far ! " and gave a 
look askance — 

Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not 
join the dance. 

W ould noU could not, would not, could not. would not 
join the dance. 

Would not, could not, voould not, could not, could not 
join the dance. 


QUADRILLE. 


^51 

“ W/iat matters it how far we go f” his scaly friend 
replied^ 

“ There is another shore^ you know^ upon the other side. 
The further off from England the nearer is 'to Frartce ; 
Tlmi turn not pale^ beloved snail, but come and join th6 
dance. 

Will you, zvon' t you, will you, won't you, will you join 
the dance f ■ 

Will you, woEt you, will you, won't you, won't you join 
the dance?" 

“ Thank you, it’s a very interesting dance to 
watch,” said Alice, feeling very glad that it was. 
over at last ; “ and I do so like that curious song 
about the whiting ! ” 

“ Oh, as to the whiting,” said the Mock Turtle, 
“ they — you’ve seen them of course ” 

“ Yes,” said Alice, “ I’ve often seen them at 
dinn — ” she checked herself hastily. 

“ I don’t know where Dinn may be,” said the 
Mock Turtle, “but if you’ve seen them so often, 
of course you know what they’re like.” 

“ I believe so,” Alice replied thoughtfully. 


152 


THE LOBSTER 


“ They have their tails in their mouths ; — and 
they’re all over crumbs.” 

“ You’re wrong about the crumbs,” said the 
Mock Turtle : “ crumbs would all wash off in 
the sea. But they have their tails in their 
mouths ; and the reason is — ” here the Mock 
Turtle yawned and shut his eyes. — “ Tell her 
about the reason and all that,” he said to the 
Gryphon. 

“ The reason is,” said the Gryphon, “ that 
they would go with the lobsters to the dance. 
So they got thrown out to sea. So they had to 
fall a long way. So they got their tails fast in 
their mouths. So they couldn’t get them out 
again. That’s all.” 

“ Thank you,” said Alice, “ it’s very interesting. 
I never knew so much about a whiting before.” 

“ I can tell you more than that, if you like,’' 
said the Gryphon. “ Do you know why it’s 
called a whiting } ” 

“ I never thought about it,” said Alice. 
“ Why } ” 


QUADRILLE. 


153 


It does the boots and shoes',' the Gryphon re- 
plied very solemnly. 

Alice was thoroughly puzzled. “ Does the 
boots and shoes ! she repeated in a wondering 
tone. 

“ Why, what are your shoes done with } " 
said the Gryphon. “ I mean, what makes them 
so shiny ? ” 

Alice looked down at them, and considered a 
little before she gave her answer. “ They’re done 
with blacking, I believe.” 

“ Boots and shoes under the sea,” the Gryphon 
went on in a deep voice, “ are done with whiting. 
Now you know.” 

“ And what are they made of ” Alice asked 
in a tone of great curiosity. 

“ Soles and eels, of course,” the Gryphon re- 
plied rather impatiently : “ any shrimp could have 
told you that.” 

“ If I’d been the whiting,” said Alice, whose 
thoughts were still running on the song, “ I’d 
have said to 'the porpoise, “ Keep back, please : 
we don’t wantj/^?^ with us! ’” 


54 


THE LOBSTER 


“ They were obliged to have him with them,” 
the Mock Turtle said : “ no wise fish would go 
anywhere without a porpoise.” 

“ Wouldn’t it really ” said Alice in a tone of 
great surprise. 

“Of course not,” said the Mock Turtle: 
“ why if a fish came to me, and told me he 
was going a journey, I should say ‘ With what 
porpoise ? ' ” 

“ Don’t you mean ‘purpose ? ’ ” said Alice. 

“ I mean what I say,” the Mock Turtle re- 
plied in an offended tone. And the Gryphon 
added “ Come, let’s hear some of your adven- 
tures.” 

“ I could tell you my adventures — beginning 
from this morning,” said Alice a little timidly: 
“ but it’s no use going back to yesterday, because 
I was a different person then.” 

“ Explain all that,” said the Mock Turtle. 

“ No, no ! the adventures first,” said the 
Gryphon in an impatient tone : “ explanations 
take such a dreadful time.” 


QUADRILLE. 


155 


So Alice began telling them her adventures 
from the time when she first saw the White 
Rabbit : she was a little nervous about it just at 
first, the two creatures got so close to her, one 
on each side, and opened their eyes and mouths 
so very wide, but she gained courage as she 
went on. Her listeners were perfectly quiet 
till she got to the part about her repeating 
“ You are old, Father William',' to the Caterpillar, 
and the words all coming different, and then the 
Mock Turtle drew a long breath, and said, 
“ That’s very curious.” 

“ It’s all about as curious as it can be,” said the 
Gryphon. 

“It all came different!” the Mock Turtle 
repeated thoughtfully. “I should like to hear 
her try and repeat something now. Tell her 
to begin.” He looked at the Gryphon as if he 
thought it had some kind of authority over 
Alice. 

“ Stand up and repeat ‘ ’ Tis the voice of the 
sluggard^ ” said the Gryphon. 


156 


THE LOBSTER 



“How the Creatures 
order one about, arjd 
make one repeat les- 
sons !” thought Alice. 
“ I might just as well 
be at school at once.” 
However, she got up, 
and began to repeat 
it, but her head was 
so full of the Lob- 
ster - Quadrille, that 
she hardly knew what 
she was saying, and 
the words came very 
queer indeed: — . 

“ ‘ Tis the voice of the lobster ; I heard him declare j 
You have baked me too brown^ I must sugar my hairl 
As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose 
Trh7is his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toesA 

“ That’s different from what / used to say when 
I was a child,” said the Gryphon. 



QUADRILLE. 


157 


“ Well, I never heard it before,” said the Mock 
Turtle ; “ but it sounds uncommon nonsense.” 

Alice said nothing : she had sat down again 
with her face in her hands, wondering if any. 
thing would ever happen in a natural way 
again. 

“ I should like to have it explained,” said the 
Mock Turtle. 

“ She can’t explain it,” said the Gryphon 
hastily. “ Go on with the next verse.” 

“ But about his toes 1 ” the Mock Turtle per- 
sisted. “ How could he turn them out with his 
nose, you know ? ” 

“ It’s the first position in dancing,” Alice said; 
but she was dreadfully puzzled by the whole 
thing, and longed to change the subject.” 

“ Go on with the next verse,” the Gryphon re- . 
peated impatiently : “ it begins “/ passed by his 
garden! ” 

Alice did not dare to disobey, though the 

felt sure it would all come wrong, and she went 

« • 

on in a trembling voice : — 


158 


THE LOBSTER 


** I passed by his garden^ and marked^ with one eye^ 
How the owl and the oyster were sharing the pie — ” 

What is the use of repeating all that stuff,” 
the Mock Turtle interrupted, “if you don’t ex- 
plain it as you go on ? It’s by far the most con- 
fusing thing / ever heard ! ” 

“ Yes, I think you’d better leave off,” said 
the Gryphon, and Alice was only too glad to 
do so. 

“Shall we try another figure of the Lobster- 
Quadrille ? ” the Gryphon went on. “ Or would 
you like the Mock Turtle to sing you a song ? ’’ 

“ Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would 
be so kind,” Alice replied, so eagerly that the 
Gryphon said, in a rather offended tone, “ Hm ! 
No accounting for tastes ! Sing her ‘ Turtle 
Soup' will you, old fellow ? ” 

The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, 
in a voice sometimes choked with sobs, to. sing 
this : — 


QUADRILLE. 


159 


Beautiful Soup^ so rich and green, * 

Waiting m a hot turee7i ! 

Who for such damties would iwt stoop ? 

Soup of the evening, beautiful soup ! 

Soup of the evening, beautiful soup / 

Beau — ootiful Soo — oop ! 

Beau — ootiful Soo — oop / 

Soo — oop of the e — e — evening. 

Beautiful, beautiful Soup ! 

** Beautiful Soup ! Who cares for fish^ 

Game, or any other dish ? 

Who would not give all else for two p 
enny worth only of beautiful So^ip f 
Pe7tny worth only of beautiful Soup f 
Beau — ootiful Soo — oop ! 

Beau — ootifid Soo — oop ! 

Soo — oop of the € — e — evening. 

Beautiful, beauti — FUL SOUP I**' 

“ Chorus again ! ” cried the Gryphon, and the 
Mock Turtle , had just begun to repeat it, when 


x6o the lobster 

a cry The trial’s beginning ! ” was heard in the 
distance. 

“Come on!” cried the Gryphon, and, taking 
Alice by the hand, it hurried off, without waiting 
for the end of the song. 

“ What trial is it ? ” Alice panted as she ran, 
but the Gryphon only answered “ Come on I ” 
and ran the faster, while more and more faintly 
came, carried on the breeze that followed them, 
the melancholy words : — 

“ Soo — oap of the e — e — eveningj 
Beautiful^ beautiful Soup I** 


CHAPTER XI. 


WHO STOLE THE TARTS.? 

The King and Queen of Hearts were seated 
on their throne when they arrived, with a great 
crowd assembled about them — all sorts of little 
birds and beasts, as well as the whole pack of 
cards : the Knave was standing before them, 
in chains, with a soldier on each side to guard 
him ; and ne^r the King was the White Rabbit, 
with a trumpet in one hand, and a scroll of 
parchment m the other. In the very middle 
of the court was a table, with a large dish of 


i 62 


WHO STOLE 


tarts upon it : they looked so good, that it 
made Alice quite hungry to look at them — “ I 
wish they’d get the trial done,” she thought, 
“ and hand round the refreshments ! ” But there 
seemed to be no chance of this, so she began 
looking at everything about her to j)ass away the 
time. - 

Alice had never been in a court of justice 
before, but she had read about them in books, 
and she was quite pleased to find that she knew 
the name of nearly everything there. “ That’s 
the judge,” she said to herself, “ because of his 
great wig.” 

The judge, by the way, was the King, and as 
he wore his crown over the wig, (look at the 
frontispiece if you want to see how he did it), he 
did not look at all comfortable, and it was cer- 
tainly not becoming. 

“ And that s the jury-box,” thought Alice, 
“ and those twelve creatures,” (she was obliged 
to say “ creatures,” you see, becaulse some of 
them were animals, and some were birds), “ I 


THE TARTS ? 


163 


suppose they are the jurors.” She said this last 
word two or three time over to herself, being 
rather proud of it : for she thought, and 
rightly too, that very few little girls of her age 
knew the meaning of it at all. However, “ jury- 
men ” would have done just as well. 

The twelve jurors were all writing very 
busily on slates. “ What are they doing ? ” Alice 
whispered to the Gryphon. “ They can’t have 
anything to put down yet, before the trial’s 
begun.” 

“ They’re putting down their names,” the 
Gryphon whispered in reply, “ for fear they should 
forget them before the end of the trial.” 

“Stupid things!” Alice began in a loud 
indignant voice, but she stopped herself hastily, 
for the White Rabbit cried out, “ Silence in the 
court ! ” and the King put on his spectacles and 
looked anxiously round, to make out who was 
talking. 

Alice could see, as well as if she were look- 
ing over their shoulders, that all the jurors were 


WHO STOLE. 


164 

writing down “stupid things!” on their slates, 
and she could even make out that one of them 
didn’t know how to spell “ stupid,” and that he 
had to ask his neighbor to tell him. “ A nice 
muddle their slates ’ll be in before the trial’s 
over 1 ” thought Alice. 

One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked. 
This, of course, Alice could not stand, and she 
went round the court and got behind him, and 
very soon found an opportunity of taking it 
away. She did it so quickly that the poor 
little juror (it was Bill, the Lizard) could not 
make out at all what had become of it ; so, 
after hunting all about for it, he was obliged to 
write with one finger for the rest of the day ; 
and this was very little use, as it left no mark on 
the slate. 

“ Herald, read the accusation 1 said the 
King. 

On this the White Rabbit blew three blasts on 
the trumpet, and then unrolled the parchment 
scroll, and read as follows : — 


THE/ TARTS? 


165 



“ The Queen of Hearts, she made some farts, 
All on a summer day : 

The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts 
And took them quite away ! 


“ Consider your verdict,” the King said to the 
jury. 


i66 


WHO STOLE 


“ Not yet, not yet ! ” the Rabbit hastily in- 
terrupted. “ There’s a great deal to come before 
that!” 

“ Call the first witness,” said the King; and 
the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the 
trumpet, and called out, “ First witness 1 ” 

The first witness was the Hatter. He came 
in with a teacup in one hand, and a piece of 
bread-and-butter in the other. “ I beg pardon, 
your Majesty,” he began, “ for bringing these 
in : but I hadn’t quite finished my tea when I was 
sent for.” 

“ You ought to have finished,” said the King. 
“ When did you begin } ” 

The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who 
had followed him into the court, arm-in-arm with 
the Dormouse. “ Fourteenth of March, I ^/im^ 
it was,” he said. 

“ Fifteenth,” said the March Hare. 

“ Sixteenth,” added the Dormouse. 

“ Write that down,” the King said to the 
jury, and the jury eagerly wrote down all three 


THE TARTS ? 1 6 / 

dates on their slates, and then added them up, 
and reduced the answer to shillings and pence. 

“ Take off your hat,” the King said to the 
Hatter. 

“ It isn’t mine,” said the Hatter. 

“ Stole7i ! ” the King exclaimed, turning to 
the jury, who instantly made a memorandum of 
the fact. 

“ I keep them to sell,” the Hatter added as 
an explanation : “ Tve none of my own. I’m a 
hatter.” 

Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and 
began staring hard at the Hatter, who turned 
pale and fidgeted. 

“ Give your evidence,” said the I^ng ; “ and 
don’t be nervous, or I’ll have you executed on the 
spot.” 

This did not seem to encourage the witness 
at all: he kept shifting from one foot to the 
other, looking uneasily at the Queen, and in his 
confusion he bit a large piece out of his teacup 
instead of the bread-and-butter. 


i68 


WHO STOLE 


Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious 
sensation, which puzzled her a good deal until 

she made out what it was: she was beginning 

% 

to grow larger again, and she thought at first 
she would get up and leave the court ; but on 
second thoughts she decided to remain where she 
was as long as there was room for her. 

“ I wish you wouldn’t squeeze so,” said the 
Dormouse, who was sitting next to her. “ I can 
hardly breathe.” 

“ I can’t help it,” said Alice very meekly : 
“ I’m growing.” 

“ Y ouVe no right to grow here^' said the Dor- 
mouse.: 

“ Do^p. t'dk nonsense,” said Alice more boldly: 
“ you know you’re growing too.” 

“ Yes, but I grow at a reasonable pace,” said 
the Dormouse : “ not in that ridiculous fashion.” 
And he got up very sulkily and crossed over to 
the other side of the court. 

All this time the Queen had never left off 
staring at the Hatter, and, just as the Dormouse 


THE TARTS? 1 69 

crossed the court, she said to one of the officers 
of the court, “‘Bring me the list of the singers in 
the last concert!” on which the wretched Hatter 
trembled so, that he 
shook both his shoes 
off. 

“ Give your evi- 
dence,” the King re- 
peated angrily, “ or 
I’ll have you execu- 
ted, whether you’re 
nervous or not.” 

“ I’m a poor man, 
your Majesty,” the 
Hatter began in a 
trembling voice, “ and I hadn’t but just begun my 
tea — not above a week or so — and what with the 
bread-and-butter getting so thin — and the twink- 
ling of the tea ” 

“ The twinkling of what ? ” said the King. 

“ It began with the tea,” the Hatter replied. 

“ Of course twinkling begins with a T 1 ” said 



1/0 


WHO STOLE. 


the King sharply. “ Do you take me for a 
dunce ? Go on T’ 

“ Tm a poor man,” the Hatter went on, “ and 
most things twinkled after that — only the March 
Hare said ” 

“ I didn’t ! ” the March Hare interrupted in 
a great hurry. 

“ You did ! ” said the Hatter. 

“ I deny it ! ” said the March Hare. 

“ He denies it,” said the King : “ leave out that 
part.” 

“ Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said — ” the 
Hatter went on, looking anxiously around to see 
if he would deny it too : but the Dormouse 
denied nothing, being fast asleep. 

“ After that,” continued the Hatter, “ I cut 
some more bread-and-butter ” 

“ But what did the Dormouse say ? ” one of the 
jury asked. 

“ That I can’t remember,” said the Hatter. 

“ You must remember,” remarked the King, 
or I’ll have you executed.” 


THE TARTS ? 


I7I 

The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and 
bread-and-butter, and went down on one knee. 
“ I’m a poor man, your Majesty,” he began. 

“You’re a very poor speaker]' said the 
King. 

Here one of the guinea-pigs cheered, and was 
immediately suppressed by the officers of the 
court. (As that is rather a hard word, I will 
just explain to you .how it was done. They had 
a large canvass bag, which tied up at the mouth 
with strings ; into this they slipped the guinea- 
pig, head first, and then sat upon it.) 

“ I’m glad I’ve seen that done,” thought 
Alice. “ I’ve so often read in the newspapers, 
at the end of trials, ‘ There was some attempt 
at applause, which was immediately suppressed 
by the officers of the court,’ and I never under- 
stood what it meant till now.” 

“ If that’s all you know about it, you may 
stand down,” continued the King. 

“ r can’t go no lower,” said the Hatter: I’m 
on the floor, as it is.” 


172 


WHO STOLE 


“ Then you may sit down,” the King replied. 
Here the other guinea-pig cheered, and was 
suppressed. 



Come, that finishes the guinea-pigs ! ” thought 
Alice. “ Now we shall get on better.” 

“ I’d rather finish my tea,” said the Hatter, 
with an anxious look at the Queen, who was 
readino^ the list of sinofers. 

o o 

“ You may go,” said the King, and the Hatter 
hurriedly left the court, without even waiting to 
put his shoes on. 

“ and just take his head off outside,” the 


THE TARTS ? 


173 

Queen added to one of the officers ; but the 
Hatter was out of sight before the officer could 
get to the door. 

“ Call the next witness ! ” said the Kine. 

The next witness was the Duchess’ cook. 
She carried the pepper-box in her hand ; and 
Alice guessed who it was, even before she got 
into the court, by the way the people near the 
door began sneezing all at once. 

“ Give your evidence,” said the King. 

“ Shan’t,” said the cook. 

The King looked anxiously at the White 
Rabbit, who said in a low voice, “Your Majesty 
must cross-examine this witness.” 

“ Well, if I must, I must,” the King said with 
a melancholy air, and, after folding his arms and 
frowning at the cook till his eyes were nearly 
out of sight, he said in a deep voice, “ What are 
tarts made of ? ” 

“ Pepper, mostly,” said the cook. 

“ Treacle,” said a sleepy voice behind her. 

“ Collar that Dormouse ! ” the Queen shrieked 


174 


WHO STOLE THE TARTS ? 


out. “ Behead that Dormouse! Turn that Dor- 
mouse out of court 1 Suppress him I Pinch him 
Off with his whiskers ! ” 

For some minutes the whole court was in 
confusion, getting the Dormouse turned out, and, 
by the time they had settled down again, the 
cook had disappeared. 

“ Never mind ! ” said the King, with an air 
of great relief. “ Call the next witness.” And 
he added in an under-tone to the Queen, 
“ Really, my dear, you musk cross-examine the 
next witness. It quite makes my forehead ache! ” 

Alice watched the White Rabbit as he fumbled 
over .the list, feeling very curious to see what 
the next witness would be like, “ — for they 
haven’t got much evidence yef,' she said to 
herself. Imagine her surprise, when the White 
Rabbit read out, at the top of his shrill little 
voice, the name “ Alice ! ” 


CHAPTER XII. 

Alice’s evidence. 

“ Here ! ” cried Alice, quite forgetting in the 
flurry of the moment how large she had grown 
in the last few minutes, and she jumped up in 
such a hurry that she tipped over the jury-box 
with the edge of her skirt, upsetting all the jury- 
men on to the heads of the crowd below, and 
there they lay sprawling about, reminding her 
very much of a globe of gold-fish she had 
accidentally upset the week before. 

“ Oh, I beg your pardon ! ” she exclaimed in 
a tone of great dismay, and began picking them 
up again as quickly as she could, for the acci- 


176 


Alice’s evidence. 



dent of the gold-fish kept running in her head, 
and she had a vague sort of idea that they must 
be collected at once and put back into the jury- 
box, or they would die. 


Alice’s evidence. 


177 


“ The trial cannot proceed,” said the King in 
a very grave voice, “ until all the jurymen are 
back in their proper places—^//,” he repeated 
with great emphasis, looking hard at Alice as he 
said so. 

Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, 
in her haste, §he had put the Lizard in head 
downwards, and the poor little thing was waving 
its tail about in a melancholy way, being quite 
unable to move. She soon got^it out again, and 
put it right ; “ not that it signifies much,” she 
said to herself; “I should think it would be 
quite as much use in the trial one Way up as the 
other.” 

As soon as the jury had a little recovered 
from the shock of being upset, and their slates 
and pencils had been found and handed back to 
them, they set to work very diligently to write 
out a history of the accident, all except the 
Lizard, who seemed too inuch overcome to do 
anything but sit with its mouth open, gazing up 
into the roof of the court. 


178 


Alice’s evidence. 


“ What do you know about this business } ” the 
King said to Alice. 

“ Nothing,” said Alice. 

“ Nothing whatever ? persisted the King. 

“ Nothing whatever,” said Alice. 

“ That’s very important,” the King said, turn- 
ing to the jury. They were jugt beginning to 
write this down on their slates, when the White 
Rabbit interrupted : “ ^/;^important, your Majesty 
means, of course,” he said in a very respectful 
tone, but frowning and making faces at him as he 
spoke. 

^//^important, of course, I meant,” the King 
hastily said, and went on to himself in an under- 
tone, “ important — unimportant — unimportant — 

important ” as if he were trying which word 

sounded best. 

Some of the jury wrote it down “ important,” 
and some “ unimportant.” Alice could see this, 
as she was near enough to look over their 
slates ; “ but it doesn’t matter a bit,” she thought 
to herself. 


Alice’s evidence. 


179 


At this moment the King, who had been for 
sometime busily writing in his note-book, called 
out “Silence!” and read out from his book, 
“ Rule Forty-two. All persons more than a mile 
high to leave the courts 

Everybody looked at Alice. 

“ Fm not a mile high,” said Alice. 

“ You are,” said the King. 

“ Nearly two miles high,” added the Queen. 

“ Well, I shan’t go, at any rate,” said Alice ; 
“ besides, that’s not a regular rule : you invented 
it just now.” 

*“ It’s the oldest rule in the book,” said the 
King. 

“ Then it ought to be Number One,” said Alice. 

The King turned pale, and shut his note- 
book hastily. “Consider your verdict,” he said 
to the jury, in a low trembling voice. 

“ There’s more evidence to come yet, please 
your Majesty,” said the White Rabbit, jumping 
up in a great hurry; “this paper has just been 
picked up.” 


i8o 


ALICe’S EVIDENCE. 


“ What’s in it ? ” said the Queen. 

“ I haven’t opened it yet,” said the White 
Rabbit, “ but it seems to be a letter, written by 
the prisoner to — to somebody.” 

“ It must have been that,” said the King^ 
“ unless it was written to nobody, which isn’t 
usual, you know.” 

“ Who is it directed to } ” said one of the 
jurymen. 

“ It isn’t directed at all,” said the White 
Rabbit ; “ in fact, there’s nothing written on the 
outsider He unfolded the paper as he spoke, 
and added, “ It isn’t a letter after all : it’s ‘ a 
set of verses.” 

“ Are they in the prisoner s handwriting ? ” 
asked another of the jurymen. 

“No, they’re not,” said the White Rabbit, 
“ and that’s the queerest thing about it.” (The 
jury all looked puzzled.) 

“He must have imitated somebody else’s 
hand,” said the King. (The jury all brightened 
up again.) 


Alice’s evidence. 


i8i 


“ Please your Majesty,” said the Knave, 
“ I didn’t write, and they can’t prove I did : 
there’s no name signed at the end.” 

If you didn’t sign it,” said the King, “ that 
only makes the matter worse. You must have 
meant some mischief, or else you’d have signed 
your name like an honest man.” 

There was a general clapping of hands at 
this: it was the first really clever thing the 
King had said that day. 

That proves his guilt/’ said tne Queen. 

“ It proves nothing of the sort ! ” said Alice. 
“ Why, you don’t even know what they’re 
about ! ” 

“ Read them,” said the King. 

The White Rabbit put on his spcetacles. 
“ Where shall I begin, please your Majesty ? ” 
he asked. 

“ Begin at the beginning,” the King said, 
gravely, “ and go on till you come to the end : 
then stop.” 

These were the verses the White Rabbit read : — 


I82 


Alice’s evidence. 


** They told me you had been to her^ 
And mentioned me to him : 

She gave me a good cha^'octer^ 

But said I could not swim. 


He sent them word I had not gone 
( We know it to be true) : 

If sk'e shotdd push the matter on, 
What would become of you f 


I gave her one, they gave him two. 
You gave us three or more ; 

They all returned from him to you. 
Though they were mine before. 


If I or she shoidd chance to be 
Involved in this affair. 

He trusts to you to set them free. 
Exactly as we were. 


ALICE’S EVIDENCE. 


183 


My notion was that you had been 
{Before she had this fit) 

An obstacle that came between 
Him^ and ourselves^ and iU 


Don t let him know she liked them besty 
For this must ever be 
A secret^ kept from all the rest^ 
Between yourself and meB 


“ That’s the most important piece of evidence 
we’ve heard yet,” said the King, rubbing his 

hands ; “ so now let the jury ” 

“ If any one of them can explain it,” said 
Alice,- (she had grown so large in the last few 
minutes that she wasn’t a bit afraid of interrupting 
him,) “ ril give him sixpence. I don’t believe 
there’s an atom of meaning in it” 

The jury all wrote down on their slates, “ She 
doesn’t believe there’s an atom of meaning in 


184 Alice's evidence. 

it/’ but none of them attempted to explain the 
paper. 

“ If there’s no meaning in it/’ said the King, 
“ that saves a world of trouble, you know, as 
we needn’t try to find any. And yet I don’t 
know,” he went on, spreading out the verses 
on his knee, and looking at them with one 
eye ; “ I seem to see some meaning in them, 
after all. ‘ — said I could not swim — ’ you can’t 
swim, can you.f^ ” he added, turning* to the 
Knave. 

The Knave shook his head sadly. “ Do I 
look like it ? ” he said. (Which he certainly did 
not, being made entirely of cardboard). 

“ All right, so far,” said the King, and he 
went on muttering over the verses to himself : 

We k7iow it to be true — ’ that’s the jury, of 
course — ‘ I gave her one, they gave him two — ’ 

why, that must be be what he did with the tarts, 
you know — ” 

“ But it goes on ‘ They all returned from him 
to you', ” said Alice. 


Alice’s evidence. 


185 



Why, there they 
are!” said the King 
triumphantly, pointing 
to the tarts on the 
table. “ Nothing can be 
clearer than that. Then 
again — ‘ before she had 
this fit — ’ you never 
had fits, my dear, I 
think } ” he said to the 
Queen. 

“Never!” said the 


Queen furiously, throwing an inkstand at the 
Lizard as she spoke. (The unfortunate little Bill 
had left off writing on his slate with one finger. 


ALICE’S EVIDENCE. 


1 86 

as he found it made no mark ; but he now hastily 
began again, using the ink, that was trickling 
down his face, as long as it lasted). 

“ Then the words don’t fit you,” said the King, 
looking round the court with a smile. There 
was a dead silence. 

“ Its a pun ! ” the King added in an angry 
tone, and everybody laughed. “ Let the jury 
consider their verdict,” the King said, for about 
the twentieth time that day. 

“ No, no ! ” said the Queen. “ Sentence first 
— verdict afterwards.” 

“ Stuff and nonsense ! ” said Alice loudly. 
“ The idea of having the sentence first ! ” 

“ Hold your tongue ! ” said the Queen, turn- 
ing purple. 

“ I won’t ! ” said Alice. 

“ Off with her head ! ” the Queen shouted at 
the top of her voice. Nobody moved. 

“ Who cares for you ? ” said Alice, (she had 
grown to her full size by this time). “ You’re 
nothing but a pack of cards ! ” 


Alice’s evidence, 


187 



At this the whole pack rose up into the air, 
and came flying down upon her; she gave a 



i88 


Alice’s evidence 


i 


little scream, half of fright and half of anger, 
and tried to beat them off, and found herself 
lying on the bank, with her head in the lap of 
her sister, who was gently brushing away some 
dead leaves that had fluttered down from the 
trees on to her face. 

“Wake up, Alice dear!'' said her sister; 
“ why, what a long sleep you’ve had ! ’’ 

“ Oh, I've had such a curious dream ! ” said 
Alice, and she told her sister, as well as she 
could remember them, all these strange Ad- 
ventures of hers that you have just been read- 
ing about ; and when she had flnished, her 
sister kissed her, and said, “ It was a curious 
dream, dear, certainly : but now run in to your 
tea ; it's getting late.” So Alice got up and 
ran off, thinking while she ran, as well she 
might, what a wonderful dream it had been. 



But her sister sat still just as she left her, 
leaning her head on her hand, watching the 
setting sun, and thinking of little Alice and all 
her wonderful Adventures, till she too began 
dreaming after a fashion, and this was her 
dream : — 

First, she dreamed of little Alice herself : — ■ 
once again the tiny hands were clasped upon 
her knee, and the bright eager eyes were look- 
ing up into hers — she could hear the very tones 
of her voice, and see that queer little toss of 
her head, to keep back the wandering hair that 
would always get into her eyes — and still as 
she listened, or seemed to listen, the whole 
place around her became alive with the strange 
creatures of her little sister’s dream. 


The long grass rustled at her feet as the 
White Rabbit hurried by — the frightened Mouse 
splashed his way through the neighboring pool 
— she could hear the rattle of the teacups as 
the March Hare and his friends shared their 
never-ending meal, and the shrill voice of the 
Queen ordering off her unfortunate guests to 
execution — once more the pig-baby was sneezing 
on the Duchess’ knee, while plates and dishes 
crashed around it — once more the shriek of the 
Gryphon, the squeaking of the Lizard’s slate- 
pencil, and the choking of the suppressed guinea- 
pigs, filled the air, mixed up with the distant 
sob of the miserable Mock Turtle. 

So she sat on, with closed eyes, and half 
believed herself in Wonderland, though she 
knew she had but to open them again and all 
would change to dull reality — the grass would 
be only rustling in the wind, and the pool rip- 
pling to the waving of the reeds — the rattling 
teacups would change to tinkling sheep-bells, 
and the Queen’s shrill cries to the voice of the 


shepherd boy — and the sneeze of the baby, the 
shriek of the Gryphon, and all the other queer 
j noises, would change (she knew) to the con- 
^ fused clamor of the busy farm-yard — while the 
0 lowing' of the cattle in the distance would take 
the place of the Mock Turtle’s heavy sobs. 

Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same 
little sister of hers would, in the after- time, be 
herself a grown woman ; and how she would 
keep, through all her riper years, the simple and 
loving heart of her childhood : and how she 
would gather about her other little children, and 
make eyes bright and eager with many a 

strange tale, perhaps even with the dream of 
Wonderland of long-ago: and how she would 
feel with all their simple sorrows, and find a 
pleasure in all their simple joys, remembering 
her own child-life, and the happy summer days. 


THE END. 


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LOVELL’S LIBRARY. 


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SEE -WEIAT IS SALE OE IT: 

The following extract from a letter recently received shows the appre- 
ciation in which the Library is held bv those who most constantly read it : 

“ Mercantile Library, » 

“ Baltimore, August 29, 1883. ) 

“Will you kiudly send me two copies of your latest list? I am glad to see that 
you now issue a volume every day. Your Library we find greatly preferable to tha 
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JOHN W. LOVELL CO., Publishers, 

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To “ STAMP OUT ” consumption. — Dr. Churchill. 

To “ COMPLETLY cui’c night sweats.” — John B. Quigley, 

To MAINTAIN the capabilities of the brain and nerves to per- 
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For sale by druggists or mail, $1. 


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LOVELL'S LIBRARY.-CATALOGUE. 


! 9 :, 


' I /O, 

ZJl, 


20S. 

2o6> 

■yj. 


io8. 

209. 


9 ^<feI| 6 terious Island, Ft 1 1 . 15 
Afy»tenous Island, PtIII.15 
??6. Tom.. Brown at Oxford, 

a FarU;,each 15 

Thk^lf than Water. . . .20 

In Silk Attire 20 

t^}, Scottish Chiefs, Part I.. 20 
Scottish Chiefs, Part II. 20 

. Willy Reilly ; 20 

1: The Nautz Family 20 

Great Expectations 20 

Hist.of Pendennis,Pt I. .20 
Hist.oi PendennisjPt II 20 
; , Widow Bedott Papers . . 20 
>95. r- .uiel Deronda,Part I..20 
Daniel Deronda, Part 1 1 . 20 

AltioraPeto 20 

By the Gate of the Sea. . 15 

Tales of a Traveller 20 

Dfc arid Voyages of Co- 
l-mbus, 2 Parts, each. 20 
The Pilmm’s Progress . . 20 
MartinChuzzlewit.P’rt 1 . 20 
MartinChuzzlewitjP’t 11 . 20 

*02. Theophrastus Such 

Z03. Disarmed 15 

Eugene Aram .....20 

The Spanish Gypsy, &C.20 

Cast up by the Sea 20 

Mill on the Floss, Part T.is 
Mill or| the Floss, P’tll. 15 

Brother Jacob, etc 

The Executor 20 

210. American Notes 15 

211. The Newcomes, Part I.. 20 
The Newcomes, Part II. 20 

The Privateersman 20 

The Three Feathers.... 20 

Phantom Fortune 20 

The Red Eric 20 

216. Lady .Silverdale’s Sweet- 

heart to 

217. The Four Macnicol’s . . . 10 

2 1 8. Mr. PisistratusBrown ,M. P.io 
2 1 9, Dombeyand Son,Part 1 . 20 

Dorabcy and Son,Part II.20 

220, Book of Snobs 10 

2 2 .1 . Fairy Pales, Illustrated . . 20 

222. The Disowned 20 

223. Little Dorrit, Part 1 20 

l ittle Dorrit, Part II. . . .20 

224 . Abbot iford and ■ New- 

■ stea- Abbey. 10 

'2 ^ Oh vC! Goldsmith, Black 10 
2aa!,T&J ire Brigade. 20 

227. Rifle nd Hound in Cey- 
lon.... 20 

228. OufMutual Friend, P’t 1 . 20 
OurMutualFriend,P’t II. 20 

229. Paris Sketches ^.>15 

230. Belinda 20 

231. Nicholas Nickleby, P’t 1. 20 
NicholasNickleby, P’t 11.20 

^‘^onarch of Mincing 

5^ 'IfelW ....20 

Years* Wanderings 

F5 ^^ylon 20 

234. l^tures from Italy. 15 

23s Adventures of Philip, Pt 1.1$ 
Adventures of Philip, Pt II.is 
936. Knickerbocker History 
ol Hew York. ao 


Z 12. 


3ty 

214. 

21^. 


243 - 

244. 


245 * 


237. The BoyatMugby. 

233. The Virginians, Part I.. 20 
The Virginians, Part II. 20 

239. Erling the Bold 20 

240. Kenelm Chillingly 20 

241. Deep Down 20 

242. Samuel Brohl & Co 20 

Gautran 20 

Bleak House, Part I.... 20 
Bleak House, Part 1 1 ... 20 
What Will He Do With 

It? 2 Parts, each 20 

246.Sketcheso£Y oungCouples. 10 

247. Devereux 20 

248. Life of Webster, Part 1 . 15 
Life of Webster, Pt. II. 15 

249. The Crayon Papers 20 

250. The Caxtons, Part I.... 15 
The Caxtons, Part II ... 15 

251. Autobiography of An- 

thony Trollope 20 

25s. Critical Reviews, etc. ...10 

253. Lucretia 20 

254. Peter the Whaler...... 20 

255. Last of the Barons. Pt I.is 
Last of the Barons, Pt.II. 15 

256. Eastern Sketches 15 

257. All in a Garden Fair.... 20 

258. File No. 113 20 

259. The Parisians, Part I. ..20 
The Parisians, Part II.. 20 

260. Mrs. Darling’s Letters. . .20 

261. Master Humphrey’s 

Clock 10 

262. Fatal Boots, etc 

263. The Alhambra 15 

264. The Four Georges 

265. Plutarch’s Lives, 5 Pts. $1. 

266. Under the Red Flag. ... 10 

267. TheHaunted House, etc. 10 

268. When the Ship Comes 

Home .... 

269. One False, both Fair.. ..20 

270. The Mudfog Papers, etc. 10 

271. My Novel, 3 Parts, each.20 

272. Conquest of Granada. ..20 

273. Sketches by Boz 20 

274. A Christmas Carol, etc.. 15 

275. lone Stewart 20 

276. Harold, 3 Parts, each... 15 

277. Dora Thome.. ....... ..20 

278. Maid of Athens. 20 

279. Conquest of Spain 10 

280. Fitzboodle Papers, etc.. 10 

281. Bracebridge Hall 20 

282. Uncommercial Traveller.20 

283. Roundabout Papers. .... 20 

284. Rossmoyne ....20 

285. A Legend of the Rhine, 

etc. * ....10 

286. Cox’s Diary, etc 10 

287. Beyond Pardon 20 

288. Somebody’sLuggage,etc.io 

289. Godolphin.. 

290. Salmagundi 20 

291. Famous Funny Fellows. 20 

292. Irish Sketches etc 20 

293. The Battle of Life, etc... 10 

294. pilgrims of the Rmne ...15 

295. Random Shots 20 

296. Men’s Wives. xo 

297. Mysteij of Edwin Drood,20 


298. Reprinted Pieces 

299. Astoria ^ 

Soo.Novelsby Eminent Handsio 

301. Companions of Columbus20 

302. No Thoroughfare 10 

303. Character S^ketches, etc. 10 

304. Christmas Books 

305. A Tour on the Prairies... 10 

306. Ballads 15 

307. Yellowplush Papers i« 

308. Life of Mahomet, Part 1 . 15 
Life of Mahomet, Pt. JI.15 

309. Sketches and Travels in 

London 

310. Oliver Goldsmith, lrving.20 

3 1 1. Captain Bonneville . . • • 20 

312. Golden Girls.... ^ 20 

313. English Humorists 15 

314. Moorish Chronicles xo 

3x5. Winifred Power.. 20 

3x6, Great HoggartyDiamond 10 

3x7. Pausanias x; 

3x8. The New Abelard “ 

319. A Real Queen 20 

320. The Rose and the Ring.zo 

321. Wolfert’s Roost and Mis- 

cellanies, by Irving... . xo 

322. Mark SeawoVth.... ....ar 

323. Life of Paul Jones 

324. Round the World 

325. Elbow Room 20 

326. The Wizard’s Son 23 

327. Harry Lorrequer..... ..ao 

328. How It All Came Round.! 

329. Dante Rosetti’s Poems. .20 

330. The Canon’s Ward ’26 

331. Lucile, by O. Meredith. 20 

332. Every Day Cook Book., ao 

333. Lays of Ancient Rome.. 20 

334. Life of Bums 20 

335. The Young Foresters, .. ao 

336. John Bull andHis Island 20 

337. Salt Water, byKingston.ao 

338. The Midshipman 20 

339. Proctor’s Poems ao 

340. Clayton’s Rangers JO 

34X. Schiller’s Poems 

342. Goethe’s Faust ...ao 

343. Goethe’s Poems .... ....30 

344. Life of Thackeray lo 

345. Dante’s Vision of Hell, 
Purgatoryaxid Paradise, .ao 

346. An Interesting Case....ao 

347. Life of Byron, NichoL.. 10 

348. Life of Bunyan 

349. Valerie’s Fate.... .. ..,.10 

350. Grandfather Lickshingle. JO 

35 !• Lays of the Scottish Ca- 
valiers ao 

35a. Willis’ Poems ao 

353. Tales of the French Re- 

volution 

354. Loom and Lu^er .... ..ao 

355. More Leaves from a Life 

in the Highlands.... ..iS 

356. Hygiene of the Brain. ..25 

357. Berkeley the Banker. . . .ao 

358. Homes Abroad........ .rS 

359. Scott’s Lady of the Lake, 

with notes... ao 

360. Modem Christianity a 

' cvilized Heathenism.... 15 



Graad, Square and Upright 



PIANOFORTES. 

Tb c demands now made by an educated musical public are so ciaeting that very few 
i Pianoforte Manufacturers can produce Instruments that will stand the test which merit 
i requires. SOHMER & CO., as Manufacturers, rank amongst these chosen few, who are 
adKUOwledged to be makers of standard instruments. In these days, when Manufacturers 
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the inctrnment will b Minperfect. It is the combination of these qualities in the highest 
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j “ SOHMER ” its honorable position with the trade and the public. 

Beceived First Prize Centennial Exliibition, Philadelphia* 1876. 
Received First Prize at Exhibition, Montreal, Canada, 1881 & 1882. 

SOHMER & 00., Manufacturers, 

149-166 E. 14tli St., New York. 





































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